Patience

I have this deck of cards my sister bought me a while ago. The Power of Intention card deck by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Most of the time they sit on my bookshelf, but once in a while when I'm struggling I take them out, give them a good shuffle and randomly pick a card. I pick a card hoping that it'll give me some sort of guidance, clarity, or comfort. This past week I pulled out the cards 3 or 4 times... and twice I pulled out the same card, I think it's a sign (yeah, I believe in signs.... you got somethin' to say about it?! ... that's what I thought.).

Be Infinitely Patient

That's what the card says... be infinitely patient...it really is just so fitting to what I've been struggling with recently and this past year. Be infinitely patient.... I feel like I've spent the past year being infinitely impatient. Now it's time to turn it around.  

I know I've said this a bajillion times before but I really just need to back off of this tremendous focus on my lack of a love life, yeah it sucks but suck it up, move on, and if you're patient enough, your time will come... or it wont come and that's okay too. 

I couldn't be patient with Mr. High School. I'm impatient with needing to know where my life is headed. I'm for some reason in some sorta race against, against, against I have no fuckin' clue! Gotta remember, slow and steady wins the race, whatever race that may be. 

In some ways though, impatience has helped me a bit. I was able to end relationships quicker because I was impatient but really, realized I wasn't getting what I needed (I was being honest with myself!! wink wink!! reference to last weeks post :) ). Because of my impatience, I've expressed my feelings and broke my heart but this is all teaching me to be patient. It's also taught me a different way to experience closure.

So, I feel, in order to be infinitely patient, you had to have had experience with impatience. Or not, I mean what works for me might not work for you. But it's always  good to get an idea of what both sides look like.

Anyways, that's my two cents for this week. Breathe in and think to yourself "be infinitely patient" and breathe out, it helps :)

<3