GUEST POST!!!!!!!
This is exciting! This is my very first guest post!!! YAY! Last week in class we had to do presentations in class about 2 bad/good etiquette scenarios we encountered. My favorite classmate gave her presentation, at the end of class I went up to her and asked her to write a guest post for my blog! One of the scenarios she presented on was amazing! So, here is the wonderful post by Salama Shani, she's a strong, amazing, beautiful, single woman and runs an awesome lil bakery out of her home! For all of you people out there in Facebook land here is a link to her page Sweet Jonz, check it out, it's full of deliciousness!! Now, without further ado, here is Mr. Spiderman!!!! Kuh-tsssssssss (that's me spraying web out of my wrist)!!!!!
p.s. Listen to her words of wisdom at the end, she speaks the truth!
Mr. Spiderman
An acquaintance from high school reconnected with me on Facebook. We really did not know each other very well while in high school because he was a popular senior and I was an awkward freshman in the color guard. Despite that, we were from the same town (Lawnside), so we shared a circle of "friends" on Facebook.
One day, out of the blue, he sent me a "friend request" with a message saying that he still thought I was beautiful and wondered if I remembered him. Well, all you have to do is tell me you think I am beautiful! I accepted his "friend request" and we began chatting via Facebook. We eventually exchanged numbers and he began to text message me regularly. (Side note: I find the whole conversing through texting extremely annoying. I am showing my age on this (35) because I remember when men actually conversed with women! Ok, I won't go off on a tangent on that topic...at least, not right now.)
Ok, let me get back on track...
I found out that he lives in the Baltimore area, is a school counselor, has two children, and is recently divorced. He is currently in graduate school because he would like to become a director of his school district's counseling program. All this sounded pretty promising (except for the divorce, but, no one is perfect and mistakes are apart of life. Hey, maybe I am still single because I can be a pain in the a**? It is all apart of the journey, right?).
Fast-forward three weeks. He is still mostly communicating with me via text message (ugh!). We have only had one full conversation on the telephone. One night, he called me, but we only chatted briefly, as he said he had to end the call. He told me he would call me back later in the evening. He did not call. The next morning, he sent me a text message apologizing for not calling me back. I replied that it was nothing to worry about. He replied that he would make it up to me. (NOTE: Please remember that we have only had one and a half conversations on the phone and that we have yet to meet in-person.)
In my naïveté, I replied that I was sure he would think of something good. In my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined what was going to happen next! I really thought he would reply with dinner and a movie! Instead, he sent me a text with a picture attached saying, "This should make up for it...". Honest, I truly believed that I was going to open the picture and see a cute puppy with sad eyes or a picture of a bouquet of flowers. I was not expecting what he sent me!
I opened the attachment and it was a picture of himself, in a bathroom, taken by him because he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with his camera phone. He was wearing nothing other than his Spiderman underwear and he was proving to me that he had mastered his newly single life! It took me a moment to realize what was happening. (I am not always the brightest bulb in the box.) I did not know how to respond, so, I did not reply.
He sent the picture to me again! You know, in case I did not get it the first time. Finally, after the initial shock wore off, I replied that, even though it was obvious he liked his body, maybe we were looking for different things in our relationships with others and that he should find someone who would be more appreciative than I of his risqué photos. He replied that he was just having fun and did not mean to insult me and that I needed to lighten up. I told him that a man had never sent me pictures like that and that I was definitely insulted. He continued to try to back peddle by making me feel like a prude. He told me that his soft porn display was not a big deal and that he looked basically the same when he was at the beach or poolside (sans his hands in his pants). I did not care what his excuses were, I was totally turned off. Who does that?! I "unfriended" him and asked him to stop contacting me.
Since then, he has sent me a text or two. I have not responded.
I think Mr. Spiderman, even though he is pushing 40 years old, has become a victim of today's technology. As I mentioned, back in the day, men called and conversed with women. Actual conversations with authentic emotions; not just LOL :). The lack of technology required men and women to be more invested in each other. In having a real conversation with a woman, a man would not, for example, say, "Oh baby, I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night. But, I'm standing in front of my bathroom mirror in my Spidey drawers, touching myself. That should make it up to you, baby." Really?! Am I supposed to believe that would have ever happened back in the day? I was there, those things did not happen!
Nowadays, men text instead of talking. Speaking as just one woman in love with men, I miss hearing your voices! Fellas, here's the deal...we love hearing your voices! Personally, I LOVE the way men say my name. The bass in their voices hits all the right syllables just right and I feel completely enveloped in masculinity. I love it! I love talking with a man and knowing I make him laugh out loud (for real). Fellas, when we talk to you, we can hear the smile on your face! It can be a beautiful thing!
I fear technology has made us lazy and has taken the fun and romance out of getting to know each other. Sigh...how I miss those good ole days...those days before IM and texting. Some of you may not be able to fully appreciate what I am saying. But, think about it...don't you think you would make a person feel extra special by setting aside time to talk to them. Just talk. Real life talk without multitasking. Directing your focus to someone you like lets them know they are special.
Here's my suggestion (if you even care), the next time you want to let someone know you are thinking about them, fight the desire to send a :), and call them instead. You might like talking...it can be fun.
