Single Women of any
race, socioeconomic, educational etc. standing please hear me!
INVEST!!!! Do Not SHOP!!!
What?!?!!?
race, socioeconomic, educational etc. standing please hear me!
INVEST!!!! Do Not SHOP!!!
What?!?!!?
That's right! We are all on the hunt for a good, real, man, right? So let's just do this the right way! I was introduced to this man Paul Carrick Brunson... not in person of course ,virtually... well, fuck! whatever, my friend told me about Paul Carrick Brunson, he has a vlog on youtube and he's, I guess, a modern day matchmaker! So he vlogs about various issues that single men and women deal with, have questions about, whatever...
I was directed to look at one of his vlogs: The Modern Day Matchmaker: Ep #2 "Successful, (Insert Race Here), & Lonely"
He starts off by addressing this specific vlog to successful professionals... now, I am neither successful NOR am I professional.. I still feel like a high schooler at times. At first I didn't want to hear what this dude had to say because that threw me off, but I shut myself up and I listened to him... his theory in this vlog entry was about Shopping vs. Investing when looking for that dream man.
If you'd like you can just go ahead and watch his short 7min vlog or you can read what I got out of it and what I think of it... your choice, I wont take it personally :)
So, Shopping vs Investing for a real man. Lets go over the two so we can see the differences.
Shopping: First thing he says is that if you have a shopping mentality it wont work. What does this shopping mentality mean? This is what it means.. when you catch yourself saying " I want a man to bring to holiday dinners, to keep me warm in the winter to take me here and there" That is a shopping mentality and what I just realized kind of objectifying a human being! eep! Paul says it right when he says its like looking for a Bentley at a used car lot, you wont find one, and if you do it'll be nice and shiny but wont last long. When we focus on silly things like that, we might as well just bring along a blow up doll.... and it's vice versa as well, in my opinion, as in men also focusing on silly things, not about blow up dolls taking us out...?!?! I don't know, just continue reading.
I catch myself saying that I just want someone to love and to love me back, and I just want some one to kiss, to cuddle with.. someone I can hold hands with and walk in the rain with. These are just outside things, they don't keep a relationship going. What keeps a relationship going is the heart and the perseverance and the sacrifices each person makes....I'll get into sacrifices later...
Another thing Paul mentions is Elitism. Single, successful, professional women have this elitist mentality " I have a degree, a job, money, anything I want, why am I still single?" They think that they should have men lined up at their door and the ones that don't fit up to their standards i.e. not having a degree or successful job, should get out of line. Why narrow our choices and be so blind to what the rest of the world has to offer? I don't think I think like that (aside from my scrawny men jokes haha) but for all of you other single women out there, while it's good to have standards, material possession isn't something I think we should standardize when looking for a good man.
Investing: This, according to Paul, gets you the real man. The man that we all truly want and need. The man that we see in all of these wonderful working relationships that surround us. Paul compares making an invest in a man with making an investment in a house. These are the steps we go through.
#1 - Leave no stone unturned - When looking for a house you look everywhere! All over the place! Granted, you know how many rooms you want and what not so that gets rid of a few, but other than that you leave no stone unturned, you go and look at all the 2 bedroom houses in the area! Same with men, leave no stone unturned, go out on dates with whoever! Sure there may be that 1 bdrm man that sneaks up on you and that's okay to turn him down for the other 2bdrm men you're interested in... haha hope you caught my drift with that one! (knee slap!)
#2- Due Diligence- Once you've found that 2bdrm apartment do your research on it! Talk to neighbors about it, read every report, check the walls, DO YOUR RESEARCH! Of course we are all humans/bricks and no one/thing is perfect! So we will of course hear some bad things about this wonderful 2 bdrm house, but what you must keep in mind is " can this house meet this vision that I have?" Once you get that down, it's on to the next step.
#3- Make Sacrifices- Once you've chosen this house and saw its potential to meet your vision, you go all in. You put everything down. You put it all on the line! Keep in mind, that when you do that, this whole investment thing doesn't stop there, in fact, it starts there! That's right! This is when the investment begins, you nurture it, it takes time for it to mature and grow and become that comfortable house you envisioned it to be. You spend more resources in order to make sure that that investment yields for you. Sacrifice yourself, give yourself put it all in for this new man.
So in the end gals we got to invest and NOT shop! If we are looking for a real man to have a real future with we have to integrate the investment mentality and ween out the shopping mentality... invest, invest, invest.
Same for you too, you single men out there, invest invest invest don't go shopping!
With all this ultimately comes sacrifice.. I really like that... you must sacrifice. Get rid of that ego, flaunt your faults, let the guard down, fucking compromise,meet half way! Sacrifice a bit of you to get a bit of him.
Let's start hunting for our real futures so we can truly invest in a beautiful house together!
<3
p.s. I hope I didn't chop up his theory :)
I was directed to look at one of his vlogs: The Modern Day Matchmaker: Ep #2 "Successful, (Insert Race Here), & Lonely"
He starts off by addressing this specific vlog to successful professionals... now, I am neither successful NOR am I professional.. I still feel like a high schooler at times. At first I didn't want to hear what this dude had to say because that threw me off, but I shut myself up and I listened to him... his theory in this vlog entry was about Shopping vs. Investing when looking for that dream man.
If you'd like you can just go ahead and watch his short 7min vlog or you can read what I got out of it and what I think of it... your choice, I wont take it personally :)
So, Shopping vs Investing for a real man. Lets go over the two so we can see the differences.
Shopping: First thing he says is that if you have a shopping mentality it wont work. What does this shopping mentality mean? This is what it means.. when you catch yourself saying " I want a man to bring to holiday dinners, to keep me warm in the winter to take me here and there" That is a shopping mentality and what I just realized kind of objectifying a human being! eep! Paul says it right when he says its like looking for a Bentley at a used car lot, you wont find one, and if you do it'll be nice and shiny but wont last long. When we focus on silly things like that, we might as well just bring along a blow up doll.... and it's vice versa as well, in my opinion, as in men also focusing on silly things, not about blow up dolls taking us out...?!?! I don't know, just continue reading.
I catch myself saying that I just want someone to love and to love me back, and I just want some one to kiss, to cuddle with.. someone I can hold hands with and walk in the rain with. These are just outside things, they don't keep a relationship going. What keeps a relationship going is the heart and the perseverance and the sacrifices each person makes....I'll get into sacrifices later...
Another thing Paul mentions is Elitism. Single, successful, professional women have this elitist mentality " I have a degree, a job, money, anything I want, why am I still single?" They think that they should have men lined up at their door and the ones that don't fit up to their standards i.e. not having a degree or successful job, should get out of line. Why narrow our choices and be so blind to what the rest of the world has to offer? I don't think I think like that (aside from my scrawny men jokes haha) but for all of you other single women out there, while it's good to have standards, material possession isn't something I think we should standardize when looking for a good man.
Investing: This, according to Paul, gets you the real man. The man that we all truly want and need. The man that we see in all of these wonderful working relationships that surround us. Paul compares making an invest in a man with making an investment in a house. These are the steps we go through.
#1 - Leave no stone unturned - When looking for a house you look everywhere! All over the place! Granted, you know how many rooms you want and what not so that gets rid of a few, but other than that you leave no stone unturned, you go and look at all the 2 bedroom houses in the area! Same with men, leave no stone unturned, go out on dates with whoever! Sure there may be that 1 bdrm man that sneaks up on you and that's okay to turn him down for the other 2bdrm men you're interested in... haha hope you caught my drift with that one! (knee slap!)
#2- Due Diligence- Once you've found that 2bdrm apartment do your research on it! Talk to neighbors about it, read every report, check the walls, DO YOUR RESEARCH! Of course we are all humans/bricks and no one/thing is perfect! So we will of course hear some bad things about this wonderful 2 bdrm house, but what you must keep in mind is " can this house meet this vision that I have?" Once you get that down, it's on to the next step.
#3- Make Sacrifices- Once you've chosen this house and saw its potential to meet your vision, you go all in. You put everything down. You put it all on the line! Keep in mind, that when you do that, this whole investment thing doesn't stop there, in fact, it starts there! That's right! This is when the investment begins, you nurture it, it takes time for it to mature and grow and become that comfortable house you envisioned it to be. You spend more resources in order to make sure that that investment yields for you. Sacrifice yourself, give yourself put it all in for this new man.
So in the end gals we got to invest and NOT shop! If we are looking for a real man to have a real future with we have to integrate the investment mentality and ween out the shopping mentality... invest, invest, invest.
Same for you too, you single men out there, invest invest invest don't go shopping!
With all this ultimately comes sacrifice.. I really like that... you must sacrifice. Get rid of that ego, flaunt your faults, let the guard down, fucking compromise,meet half way! Sacrifice a bit of you to get a bit of him.
Let's start hunting for our real futures so we can truly invest in a beautiful house together!
<3
p.s. I hope I didn't chop up his theory :)
