Chill Pill

So.....

Yeah, I think I had 2 weeks of being emotionally "special".... and now I realize that I just need to take a chill pill, sit back, relax and let whatever happen happen....

That was my mentality to begin with then I got wrapped up in emotions which is just no fun at all... because really, I have no time to be emo right now.... maybe more so strength as opposed to time. Time is relative as they say.

In any case, I'm back to taking a step back and relaxing and enjoying the ride, the view, what have you... sometimes I just get too excited about things and want to know it all ... I want the answers right now, will this work, will this not work... what is in store for my future, for our future, do we have a future?? Questions, questions, questions flooding my head!!!!!! Hence where the chill pill needs to come into play. It's okay to not know everything.... that's what life is all about... taking it all one step at a time, seeing what comes your way, what falls in your lap and going from there.

I feel like I'm doing a juggling act right now.. trying to manage my work life, my school life, my family life, and my personal life. It's tough... so why make it harder than it already is?

I have friends who can provide me with the support that I need, I have Mr. High School that can provide me the comfort that I need... granted, it's not all the time, but that's okay. I need to learn that that's okay. Last week I wrote about how I want someone right here, right now, I want to be held every night and feel secure. But it is important to feel secure on my own too.  I can't be a whiny little bitch and kick and scream every moment life doesn't go my way.

It's all about being/feeling secure on my own. That's what being a single gal is all about... right? Finding and grabbing a hold of that strength and running with it... conquering anything and learning each step of the way. If at first you don't succeed dust yourself off and try again.

So, here I am dusting myself off after that little bump of emotional "specialness," standing strong and trying to plow through whatever comes my way. I have to learn that I don't need a man to help me along the way. While I would love to have one to hold onto, it's not something I need, and it's not something I should expect right away from a man as well. There go my expectations butting themselves into my personal business... bitches and hoes!!!!!!

Anyways, I hope this made sense...


sending everyone love, health, and happiness

<3