First and foremost I'd like to apologize for last weeks lack of post and lack of letting you all know there was no post :)
Last weekend was crazy!!!! Then the days that followed were just busy and exhausting! So, I do apologize! (Saturday consisted of my car battery dying, and me getting locked out of the apt in 20degree maybe teen degree weather for 2hrs, and taking forever to get everything taken care of. Sunday I spent with the lovely boy :) )
Alright, so! Relationships!! I was about to go ahead and title this post Relationshits haha.. because really, isn't that how most of them turn out to be... until you meet your one true love yadda yadda yadda!
So, something sorta funny, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, relationships, not being in one but seeing someone and what that entails, and my dear blogger friend The Titan Project tweeted an old post the other day that touches on this whole thing, check it out: Handling Being Fuck Buddies.
These 2 paragraphs are what hit me:
To be in a relationship is to hope that someday you’ll have someone plop on one knee and give the whole wedding snow brigade; the white diamond ring, the white dress, the white church, with white flowers, probably even in a few inches of fluffy white snow. However, why would an early twenty something want to get into a relationship? Are they saying, “Yeah I call this guy my boyfriend because I want him to marry me in a few months.”
If the twenty something relationship isn’t looking for wedding bells, what are you looking forward to, other than the end? If this isn’t the ideal guy, what are they holding out for? Is it because these young twenty something’s can’t see themselves having a fuck buddy, a sexual partner that comes in and out of their lives. Or is it because they want to take long chastised turns at a time so they won’t be labeled as sluts, whores, or polygamist?
I must say though, that back in the day, in my early 20s relationships to me were just that, relationships, no thought of wedding bells unless it got super serious. My first serious relationship lasted 3 years, it began because we just really liked each other so, bam!, a kiss started it all....then as the years went by, of course I thought about marriage. While it excited me, it scared me! Once that relationship was over, I had some fun bouncing from crush to crush. I'd say, though, that the last few years, The Titan's whole idea of relationship equaling wedding bells, seriously rings true. "If the twenty something relationship isn’t looking for wedding bells, what are you looking forward to, other than the end?" I know this isn't true for everyone, I know, I know that this is an exaggeration... some people are just in relationships just to be in relationships and that's that no thought of wedding bells or the end what so ever, just taking it one day at a time. And also, that might be a super pessimistic way of looking at relationships.
So!! Here's my take on this whole relationship thing. I've recently started seeing this awesome guy. (*waves* hi!) I think after the 2nd or 3rd date or maybe after the first, I don't remember, but early on we had a conversation about what we wanted. He told me he wasn't looking for anything serious and I told him that I'm basically in between. While I'm looking to settle down because I'm tired of failed relationships, I also don't want to pressure anything and just take it one day at a time, see where things go, let it take its course. So we know where we stand, that's good.... Fast forward to a month later, now, and we definitely try and see each other once a week (we live an hour apart), he's having fun, I'm having fun, it's really great!
I'm going to be honest with you and say that, well, while it's fun, it can also be a bit frustrating. This is where The Titan's relationship=wedding bells comes into play. He's younger than I am, there is no way in hell this shit is on his mind. I, on the other hand, am nearing the age where my biological clock ticks louder and louder in my head slowly deafening ground/stable thoughts. I'm not saying I want to marry the boy, no no no no no. I'm just saying that we have different mindsets, so is this a "relationship" that leads to an end? I guess that's the beauty of not being in a relationship.
I really do like not having a label or a title or shit like that, it definitely is liberating. There's no pressure of "oh I'm a girlfriend so I have to do a, b, and c... and he's my boyfriend so he must do a, b, and c." No stupid bullshit, just really enjoying each others company. And I must say I love being in his company.
UGH!!!!! This post is so confusing to me, because I'm so confused about this whole in between thing too! I'm not confused by it, I understand all of its guidelines. Bottom line is this:
While I don't mind being in a relationshipless relationship the lack of pressure, taking it one day at a time, just having fun enjoying one another, (not saying that being in a relationship doesn't entail all of that).... while that is all fun, all my avid readers know where I've been at with "finding my future husband" haha, my biological clock is fucking ticking and I'm fighting so hard to shut it the fuck up! I seriously do not want that pressure, I don't want to think about marriage it'll come when it'll come and I am enjoying just being in the now.... I guess all I'm asking for is a nice normal relationship, no thoughts of the future no thoughts of the past just enjoying what is happening now. I guess that truly is the bottom line. So maybe what I have this this boy is that? It's not a stereotypical relationship, it's not a bf/gf bs blah blah blah kinda thing, it's just a nice relationship. Damn, this post is such a mess!
Another part that's sort of a struggle is emotions, and feelings. How much of myself do I invest into this if I don't have a stable sense of this? The other side to that is, who the fuck cares? Invest all of you in it and if its worth it, great, if not oh well.
I've been in a relationship like this before and the same issues came up. It was a short sweet relationshipless relationship, but that's because I moved. I bet you if I stayed it would've turned into something more serious.
So! Maybe that's just how things work nowadays you start off with relationshipless relationships, then you move onto the next step. That's what happened with The Titan and I know that's what was going to happen with me and the other boy. But! That's just what dating is! You just fucking date and then decide if taking the next step is doable or not. It's just a longer dating period. Alright, I get it. It took me going through all that craziness up there to write it out and finally fucking get it. See, this is why I hate labels it just fucks everything up!! :)
Alright, any thoughts on this? Please share!!!!!!!
