Relationshipless Relationships

Hello all!

First and foremost I'd like to apologize for last weeks lack of post and lack of letting you all know there was no post :)

Last weekend was crazy!!!! Then the days that followed were just busy and exhausting! So, I do apologize! (Saturday consisted of my car battery dying, and me getting locked out of the apt in 20degree maybe teen degree weather for 2hrs, and taking forever to get everything taken care of. Sunday I spent with the lovely boy :) )

Alright, so! Relationships!! I was about to go ahead and title this post Relationshits haha.. because really, isn't that how most of them turn out to be... until you meet your one true love yadda yadda yadda!

So, something sorta funny, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, relationships, not being in one but seeing someone and what that entails, and my dear blogger friend The Titan Project tweeted an old post the other day that touches on this whole thing, check it out: Handling Being Fuck Buddies. 

These 2 paragraphs are what hit me:

To be in a relationship is to hope that someday you’ll have someone plop on one knee and give the whole wedding snow brigade; the white diamond ring, the white dress, the white church, with white flowers, probably even in a few inches of fluffy white snow.  However, why would an early twenty something want to get into a relationship?  Are they saying, “Yeah I call this guy my boyfriend because I want him to marry me in a few months.”

If the twenty something relationship isn’t looking for wedding bells, what are you looking forward to, other than the end?  If this isn’t the ideal guy, what are they holding out for?  Is it because these young twenty something’s can’t see themselves having a fuck buddy, a sexual partner that comes in and out of their lives.  Or is it because they want to take long chastised turns at a time so they won’t be labeled as sluts, whores, or polygamist?

I must say though, that back in the day, in my early 20s relationships to me were just that, relationships, no thought of wedding bells unless it got super serious. My first serious relationship lasted 3 years, it began because we just really liked each other so, bam!, a kiss started it all....then as the years went by, of course  I thought about marriage. While it excited me, it scared me!  Once that relationship was over, I had some fun bouncing from crush to crush. I'd say, though,  that the last few years, The Titan's whole idea of relationship equaling wedding bells, seriously rings true.  "If the twenty something relationship isn’t looking for wedding bells, what are you looking forward to, other than the end?" I know this isn't true for everyone, I know, I know that this is an exaggeration... some people are just in relationships just to be in relationships and that's that no thought of wedding bells or the end what so ever, just taking it one day at a time.  And also, that might be a super pessimistic way of looking at relationships.

So!! Here's my take on this whole relationship thing. I've recently started seeing this awesome guy. (*waves* hi!)  I think after the 2nd or 3rd date or maybe after the first, I don't remember, but early on we had a conversation about what we wanted. He told me he wasn't looking for anything serious and I told him that I'm basically in between. While I'm looking to settle down because I'm tired of failed relationships, I also don't want to pressure anything and just take it one day at a time, see where things go, let it take its course.  So we know where we stand, that's good.... Fast forward to a month later, now, and we definitely try and see each other once a week (we live an hour apart), he's having fun, I'm having fun, it's really great!

I'm going to be honest with you and say that, well, while it's fun, it can also be a bit frustrating. This is where The Titan's relationship=wedding bells comes into play. He's younger than I am, there is no way in hell this shit is on his mind. I, on the other hand, am nearing the age where my biological clock ticks louder and louder in my head slowly deafening ground/stable thoughts. I'm not saying I want to marry the boy, no no no no no. I'm just saying that we  have different mindsets, so is this a "relationship" that leads to an end?  I guess that's the beauty of not being in a relationship.

I really do like not having a label or a title or shit like that, it definitely is liberating. There's no pressure of "oh I'm a girlfriend so I have to do a, b, and c... and he's my boyfriend so he must do a, b, and c." No stupid bullshit, just really enjoying each others company. And I must say I love being in his company.

UGH!!!!! This post is so confusing to me, because I'm so confused about this whole in between thing too! I'm not confused by it,  I understand all of its guidelines. Bottom line is this:

While I don't mind being in a relationshipless relationship the lack of pressure, taking it one day at a time, just having fun enjoying one another, (not saying that being in a relationship doesn't entail all of that).... while that is all fun, all my avid readers know where I've been at with "finding my future husband" haha, my biological clock is fucking ticking and I'm fighting so hard to shut it the fuck up! I seriously do not want that pressure, I don't want to think about marriage it'll come when it'll come and I am enjoying just being in the now....  I guess all I'm asking for is a nice normal relationship, no thoughts of the future no thoughts of the past just enjoying what is happening now. I guess that truly is the bottom line. So maybe what I have this this boy is that? It's not a stereotypical relationship, it's not a bf/gf bs blah blah blah kinda thing, it's just a nice relationship. Damn, this post is such a mess!


Another part that's sort of a struggle is emotions, and feelings. How much of myself do I invest  into this if I don't have a stable sense of this? The other side to that is, who the fuck cares? Invest all of you in it and if its worth it, great, if not oh well. 


I've been in a relationship like this before and the same issues came up. It was a short sweet relationshipless relationship, but that's because I moved. I bet you if I stayed it would've turned into something more serious.

So! Maybe that's just how things work nowadays you start off with relationshipless relationships, then you move onto the next step. That's what happened with The Titan and I know that's what was going to happen with me and the other boy.  But! That's just what dating is! You just fucking date and then decide if taking the next step is doable or not. It's just a longer dating period. Alright, I get it. It took me going through all that craziness up there to write it out and finally fucking get it. See, this is why I hate labels it just fucks everything up!! :)

Alright, any thoughts on this? Please share!!!!!!!

Babies

So, well, this week has been a busy week. By the time Friday rolled around I was stressing about what to write for this weeks posting! I was asking my co-workers and I was desperately trying to figure out what to write. I had several ideas to write about 1. How sex does/doesn't change things 2. Ex Rules and 3. Marriage. Alas, the universe allowed this weeks post to present itself right on time! For those of you who are new readers, I wrote about this once before. Whenever I force myself to think of a new post idea I either write a silly post or I force an idea and it just doesn't come out right, but! Before the time I normally put up posts, an idea presents itself. Well here is this last min idea!

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So, this is the 21st century, and times definitely have changed!

I just got back from seeing The Switch, while it was a typical Jennifer Aniston chick flick, I came out of it with some goals in mind! A lot of movies these past few years have a story line based around single, financially stable women giving up on the traditional idea of finding a husband THEN having kids and completely doing it the other way around! The Switch, Backup Plan, Baby Mamma etc. I am very well aware that these are Hollywood ideals of what happens to single ladies who attempt this. I know that when you get artificially inseminated Mr. Future Husband doesn't really come strolling around the corner... I am very well aware that Hollywood is a complete load of fuckin bullshit.... but at the same time... looking at it in the perspective of being single and deciding to have a kid on your own, it is very possible!

So!!! I decided, that when I turn 30...or maybe 31.. no.. maybe when I turn 30 (i'll take that year to make the final decision) but when I turn 30, if I have a stable career where I have a good constant income coming in that would allow me financially to go through artificial insemination, and I am not with my Future Husband, I'd totally do it!

It was kind of like a light bulb went off in my head, like I finally got it, like everything was clearer. I am crazy over babies, I can not wait to have babies. I can't wait to experience having something growing inside of me, I can't wait to experience childbirth, I can't wait for it all! Giving and growing life just excites the hell outta me.

This whole time though, I thought that I needed to have a husband in order to take the next step and have a baby. BUT I DON'T!!!!

It really is funny, I've always had this cookie cutter idea of what my life is supposed to be, how its supposed to be played out. Now as I near 30 I am learning that it's okay that my life isn't turning out the way I thought it should. I was struggling with that, but I'm coming to terms with it and I think I'm okay with being independent and doing this whole thing on my own.

While I can't wait to get married and be with my Future Husband, it doesn't all have to happen in a specific order! I was thinking about Marriage the other day (hence one of the ideas for a blog post....) and when I see the customers that I have and I see which ones have rings on their fingers and what not it just seemed so odd to me. Some people I look at and I wonder if they are happy, I wonder if they just settled so that THEY can fit that cookie cutter lifestyle. I wonder if they think about life the way I do. I can't wait to get married and start that kind of lifestyle, but I also know that I can't and will not ever settle. I know that my happiness is the most important thing. That is why I've come to terms with me being single and that I don't mind it that much....sometimes :)

If having a baby on my own is part of my own happiness, I don't need to be married to do it. I am a forever changing, growing human being. I am slowly finding my place in this universe and in my world.

I love how women have become more independent thinkers, workers and breeders.

I thank you science for making artificial insemination possible!


So come on single women lets root root root for the home team and get cracking on living outside of the mold!

<3