The universe really is quite funny, it has definitely been entertaining me and my silly thoughts lately. I have my doubts about The Secret, but I do also believe in it. Whatever you put out in the universe it comes to you... granted not ALL the time, and maybe not right away, but it comes. I definitely thought that Mr. Hands was a product of The Secret, and I think at the time he really was, but I should've specified age...haha oh man... me and my psycho babble!!
So!! Get this!!! Remember last week when I was talking about Craigslist and finding love on it? No, no, no I did not find love on Craigslist. BUT! Remember that little bit I wrote,
about the missed connections section on there? I like to amuse myself and check it out once in a while, so I checked it out the other day, thus the story begins!!
It's my day off, I'm just hanging out at the crib (hehe), I go on CL to look for jobs... I need to find a new job... STAT!!!!... then I decide to mosey on over to the missed connections section. BAM! There it was, bright as day! The subject line read "Bank Teller on Juniper* (Center City)." The person mentioned the bank name, but I'm not mentioning it on here, I don't want any psychos coming to my place of work...hahaha....flatter me, please. So, I click on it and this is roughly what it said (I'm going by memory because dude took off the post) "I come to deposit my check every 2 weeks and when I stand in line we always smile at each other. I always hope to get you and when I don't I'm bummed. Hope this works!"
Of course I replied!!!! AND! Of course I was secretly hoping dude would be talking about me, and that we'd get togehter, get married, have kids and live a happily romantic life ever after.... haha I know I went a little too far on that one, didn't I?? haha I seriously though just secretly hoped it was me the dude wrote about. OY OY OY!!! So, I reply using this blogs email address and I say "Hey, I work at that branch, maybe I can help you find this gal." Here is how the rest of the emailing conversation went:
BOY - She has brown hair, a light tan, possibly Hispanic? Average height, Average body.
ME - Just to clarify, you are talking about the branch on Juniper and Locust* right?
BOY- yep
ME- Hmmm, well, there aren't any Hispanic women that work there, I could possibly be mistaken to be Hispanic. My name is Sally*, does that ring a bell?
BOY- I work at the cupcake place, my name is Adam*.... haha I hope you don't think this is all weird
ME- I know who you are! Please, I don't think this is weird at all, I'm on there checking it out, if anything we're both weird.
Anyways, so he did post the missed connections about me and we ended up exchanging numbers and texting back and forth. We sent pictures of us to one another to validated even more that we are who we think we are. Cute story hu???
Will there be a future? Absolutely not! This boy, Mr. Cupcake,...baby... is fuckin 20!!!!! And while I don't like to discriminate against age, my most recent experience definitely leads me to believe that uhh age is a big deal! So, while this was a super cute story and what not, it definitely doesn't turn out as I had always dreamed/hoped it would... sigh, another dream shot!! hahaha!
One thing I do want to mention though, is that working at the branch I work at, the men I see are either A.) My age and older, attorneys, accountants la de da...who are already taken and the ones who aren't, aren't that exciting and B.) Super young, hot, art students!!!! It's such a damn fuckin shame!!!! Art students are fuckin' hot and we are on the same fuckin' page!!! WHY!!! WHY!!! haha but hey, there's a reason for everything.... I have yet to find out what it is :)
Anyways, there's my little Cupcake Connection story. Mr. Cupcake has been texting me trying to hang but I've seriously been so busy I've been saying no, which I guess could partially be an advantage for me?? I was honestly thinking though, should I just entertain him and go out with him... maybe get a few make out sessions (we know how much I love them makeout sessions) or should I just drop it... ugh, I should seriously just drop it... I need a MAN! not a baby boy... no offense to Mr. Cupcake! Mr. Cupcake is super super cute! It's just a shame he's so young.....sigh...
Have a wonderful rest of the week lovelies!!! Sorry for the delay!!
<3
*Names changed :)
Showing posts with label The Secret. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Secret. Show all posts
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Valentine Special!
Well, hello hello Valentines Day!
So, I have a choice to be bitter and say "fuck Valentines Day" or I can lie and say "Valentines day is whatever, its a commercial holiday I don't need it." I could lie again and say "Valentines Day is great, spreading the love to everyone out there" whatever, there are a million things I could say. I'm going to go ahead and try and make this post as positive as possible, here's my big challenge of the day!
I do tell people that Valentines day really means nothing and its just a commercial holiday and blah blah blah blah blah, but really deep deep down inside, Valentines Day does rock...only if I have a significant other... it could also be a whatever holiday just passing by too because I wouldn't really need this day to validate my feelings for whoever I'm with. When I'm single, and bitter about it... I'm going to go ahead and be bitter about this day.
Two weeks ago I wrote about this boy I was seeing and how happy I was and how awesome he was/is... he's still super cool.... We spent a wonderful, cold, windy day at the beach yesterday.... then he went home, and then I ended it. Part of me regrets it because I did/do have strong feelings for him.... but here is where I look at myself and realize that I really am making smart adult decisions.
I never would of thought of this decision being an "adult" decision until my friend was telling me how adult of me it was. I was kind of confused by it, but it really was adult of me. I actually put my head before my heart, which is something big for me. If I listened to my heart I would've been like "shut the fuck up head, I'm having an awesome time with this awesome guy" but, my head kept on muttering "but you're not getting what you want out of this girl, yeah you're happy, but happiness can only go so far."
I don't know if I'm making any sense here. The point is, is that it really is important to listen to your head as opposed to your heart. I've listened to my heart so many times and ended up in the exact place my head said I would, in heartache. I'm tired of wasting time hoping for things to change and giving dudes the benefit of the doubt, I'm tired of putting myself second. So, I grabbed my balls and finally put my needs first. I hate it, but I fucking did it. Am I happy about it now? Of course not, especially on this fuckin fucking day.... I'm sure I'll be fine in a couple days, maybe a week or so? I dunno!
Anyways, my co-worker put it best, if it's meant to be it's meant to be... la de da. I have a pretty good feeling that it wasn't meant to be, my spidey senses tell me so.
I don't think I'm doing a good job being positive... so lets really try it.
Good side of all this.... I can be proud of myself for putting myself first!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for being smart about this!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for giving this relationshipless relationship thing a shot!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for just being me! I can be proud of myself for being a single 20somethin in the crazy 21st.... taking on each challenge that's thrown my way! Bring it!!!!!
So, I'm definitely going to go back to deactivating my okcupid account and lay low for a bit... I get too excited too fast. I remember thinking that The Secret worked its magic and brought me this wonderful boy... I did believe it, but the timing wasn't right....I like to dream a little too much.
Note to self: No more dreaming from now on... no more dreaming...no more dreaming...no more dreaming.
For real though, all of you enjoying this day... Happy Valentines Day....and for all of us singletons out there, lets make this day go by fast :)
<3
So, I have a choice to be bitter and say "fuck Valentines Day" or I can lie and say "Valentines day is whatever, its a commercial holiday I don't need it." I could lie again and say "Valentines Day is great, spreading the love to everyone out there" whatever, there are a million things I could say. I'm going to go ahead and try and make this post as positive as possible, here's my big challenge of the day!
I do tell people that Valentines day really means nothing and its just a commercial holiday and blah blah blah blah blah, but really deep deep down inside, Valentines Day does rock...only if I have a significant other... it could also be a whatever holiday just passing by too because I wouldn't really need this day to validate my feelings for whoever I'm with. When I'm single, and bitter about it... I'm going to go ahead and be bitter about this day.
Two weeks ago I wrote about this boy I was seeing and how happy I was and how awesome he was/is... he's still super cool.... We spent a wonderful, cold, windy day at the beach yesterday.... then he went home, and then I ended it. Part of me regrets it because I did/do have strong feelings for him.... but here is where I look at myself and realize that I really am making smart adult decisions.
I never would of thought of this decision being an "adult" decision until my friend was telling me how adult of me it was. I was kind of confused by it, but it really was adult of me. I actually put my head before my heart, which is something big for me. If I listened to my heart I would've been like "shut the fuck up head, I'm having an awesome time with this awesome guy" but, my head kept on muttering "but you're not getting what you want out of this girl, yeah you're happy, but happiness can only go so far."
I don't know if I'm making any sense here. The point is, is that it really is important to listen to your head as opposed to your heart. I've listened to my heart so many times and ended up in the exact place my head said I would, in heartache. I'm tired of wasting time hoping for things to change and giving dudes the benefit of the doubt, I'm tired of putting myself second. So, I grabbed my balls and finally put my needs first. I hate it, but I fucking did it. Am I happy about it now? Of course not, especially on this fuckin fucking day.... I'm sure I'll be fine in a couple days, maybe a week or so? I dunno!
Anyways, my co-worker put it best, if it's meant to be it's meant to be... la de da. I have a pretty good feeling that it wasn't meant to be, my spidey senses tell me so.
I don't think I'm doing a good job being positive... so lets really try it.
Good side of all this.... I can be proud of myself for putting myself first!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for being smart about this!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for giving this relationshipless relationship thing a shot!! Woohoo!!! I can be proud of myself for just being me! I can be proud of myself for being a single 20somethin in the crazy 21st.... taking on each challenge that's thrown my way! Bring it!!!!!
So, I'm definitely going to go back to deactivating my okcupid account and lay low for a bit... I get too excited too fast. I remember thinking that The Secret worked its magic and brought me this wonderful boy... I did believe it, but the timing wasn't right....I like to dream a little too much.
Note to self: No more dreaming from now on... no more dreaming...no more dreaming...no more dreaming.
For real though, all of you enjoying this day... Happy Valentines Day....and for all of us singletons out there, lets make this day go by fast :)
<3
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Lists
So, today I opened up my moleskin weekly planner thing. It's kinda fat, stuffed with papers and what not.... some of the papers are little things I kept as memorabilia, for example little things from my trip to New Orleans over the summer and a few pieces of trash like receipts here and there.
I have about 12 little squares of paper that were about to fall out.... along with a list...
What do these special pieces of paper entail?
Qualities and characteristics of what I want in a relationship and in a significant other.
How many of us created lists like these? go ahead, you can raise your hand... mine is raised pretty high!
So, I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I see a therapist...she gave me 2 assignments, one was to write a list of things I want in a man and the other was to write, on little cards, things I want in a relationship.
That wasn't the first time I created a list like that. A little under a year ago, after the breakup with my most recent ex, I decided it'd be a good idea to write that list. In the back of my mind I was hoping that the power of The Secret would work it's magic.... alas it did not.
Anyways I thought I'd share with you this list and the lovely things I want in a relationship... they sort of coincide, so I hope it won't be redundant.
Things I want in man:
- Honest
- Grounded
- Compromising
- Caring
- Secure
- NO BAGGAGE!
- Compassionate
- Understanding
- Sensitive but strong
- Creative
- Funny
- Giving
- Mature
- Supportive
- Responsible
- Cultured
- Respectful
- Likes to travel
- Reliable
- Mentally sound/strong
(Who doesn't have baggage though!?!?!?!!?! shit!)
So, that's my list.... I really don't have much to say about it... is it realistic? Am I being realistic? Does a man like this exist? Sigh... you know, this list kind of depresses me.....next!
Next, next next!!
Things I want in a Relationship:
(I may go into detail with these, yup, I will)
- Honesty- Trust- With each other and about the relationship, take responsibility in the relationship and with each other
- Compromise - within every aspect- give and take and confidence in decisions - 50/50
- Love <3= Happiness
- Positivity + + + = Growth, compromise, and understanding
- Understanding - sensitive towards each others thoughts, feelings, beliefs
- Reliability - responsibility, ownership = honesty
- Give & Take - 50/50 - like compromising - emotionally, caring and taking care of
- Confidence - in each other and the relationship - no doubt, no excuses
- Life, Creativity, Passion, Excitement! = movement
- Travel - see new places, experience new things together
- Cultured - open to new/old ideas, new/old foods, customs, cultures
- Equality- 50/50 give and take - also in roles within the relationship/household, non- traditional
- Strength - in being sensitive- strength in being honest and true with ourselves and each other
- Individuality - we are not carbon copies - have different things to bring into the relationship- spending time together and individually
- On the same team- back each other up, don't shoot each other down
- Real - security- same future plans- comes from same ideals/ideas- realness in thoughts feelings with each other and relationship
- Spiritual - as opposed to religious- religion can be there- in the background- but to be spiritual in believing in each other in the universe/earth.
Does any of this actually make any sense? Am I limiting myself with these lists... these are just lists though... these are things I'd like, but hmm, I don't know why I'm having trouble discussing these. And! Are they biased because I wrote them thinking of the things I didn't have in my previous relationships? I mean, one good thing about having more than just one relationship under my belt is that I get closer to knowing what I want and what I don't want.
But these things I listed above, not all of them you learn in the first few dates...so, it's kind of too ideal. It's unrealistic. But like I mentioned already, I don't want these to limit me from anything...??... will they? do they?
It's funny, I recently came in contact with an old acquaintance of mine in CA... she was saying how it was a shame that we live so far away from each other because she can't play matchmaker for me anymore... here I was thinking that it was only recently that I've been on a hunt for my future husband, but I guess I've always been on a hunt... ever since the break up from my first serious relationship... man, I must be some kind of hot mess.
Anyways, do lists serve a good purpose in this case?
I guess that's that for this post!
Until next week! Have a good one!
<3
I have about 12 little squares of paper that were about to fall out.... along with a list...
What do these special pieces of paper entail?
Qualities and characteristics of what I want in a relationship and in a significant other.
How many of us created lists like these? go ahead, you can raise your hand... mine is raised pretty high!
So, I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I see a therapist...she gave me 2 assignments, one was to write a list of things I want in a man and the other was to write, on little cards, things I want in a relationship.
That wasn't the first time I created a list like that. A little under a year ago, after the breakup with my most recent ex, I decided it'd be a good idea to write that list. In the back of my mind I was hoping that the power of The Secret would work it's magic.... alas it did not.
Anyways I thought I'd share with you this list and the lovely things I want in a relationship... they sort of coincide, so I hope it won't be redundant.
Things I want in man:
- Honest
- Grounded
- Compromising
- Caring
- Secure
- NO BAGGAGE!
- Compassionate
- Understanding
- Sensitive but strong
- Creative
- Funny
- Giving
- Mature
- Supportive
- Responsible
- Cultured
- Respectful
- Likes to travel
- Reliable
- Mentally sound/strong
(Who doesn't have baggage though!?!?!?!!?! shit!)
So, that's my list.... I really don't have much to say about it... is it realistic? Am I being realistic? Does a man like this exist? Sigh... you know, this list kind of depresses me.....next!
Next, next next!!
Things I want in a Relationship:
(I may go into detail with these, yup, I will)
- Honesty- Trust- With each other and about the relationship, take responsibility in the relationship and with each other
- Compromise - within every aspect- give and take and confidence in decisions - 50/50
- Love <3= Happiness
- Positivity + + + = Growth, compromise, and understanding
- Understanding - sensitive towards each others thoughts, feelings, beliefs
- Reliability - responsibility, ownership = honesty
- Give & Take - 50/50 - like compromising - emotionally, caring and taking care of
- Confidence - in each other and the relationship - no doubt, no excuses
- Life, Creativity, Passion, Excitement! = movement
- Travel - see new places, experience new things together
- Cultured - open to new/old ideas, new/old foods, customs, cultures
- Equality- 50/50 give and take - also in roles within the relationship/household, non- traditional
- Strength - in being sensitive- strength in being honest and true with ourselves and each other
- Individuality - we are not carbon copies - have different things to bring into the relationship- spending time together and individually
- On the same team- back each other up, don't shoot each other down
- Real - security- same future plans- comes from same ideals/ideas- realness in thoughts feelings with each other and relationship
- Spiritual - as opposed to religious- religion can be there- in the background- but to be spiritual in believing in each other in the universe/earth.
Does any of this actually make any sense? Am I limiting myself with these lists... these are just lists though... these are things I'd like, but hmm, I don't know why I'm having trouble discussing these. And! Are they biased because I wrote them thinking of the things I didn't have in my previous relationships? I mean, one good thing about having more than just one relationship under my belt is that I get closer to knowing what I want and what I don't want.
But these things I listed above, not all of them you learn in the first few dates...so, it's kind of too ideal. It's unrealistic. But like I mentioned already, I don't want these to limit me from anything...??... will they? do they?
It's funny, I recently came in contact with an old acquaintance of mine in CA... she was saying how it was a shame that we live so far away from each other because she can't play matchmaker for me anymore... here I was thinking that it was only recently that I've been on a hunt for my future husband, but I guess I've always been on a hunt... ever since the break up from my first serious relationship... man, I must be some kind of hot mess.
Anyways, do lists serve a good purpose in this case?
I guess that's that for this post!
Until next week! Have a good one!
<3
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I don't want....
Alright, first off, sorry about last week... I was exhausted and had no time or honestly no motivation to write. I like to try and do a weekly post and sometimes I just force it and it comes out like shit... so la de da... here's hoping this one wont fail :)
Secondly, I wasn't quite sure what to write about this week, then my bestie sort of hinted at it last night and well, here I am, writing an entry about what I don't want. Now, you remember that big fad a year or 2 ago, The Secret fad? How you should think positively and whatever you put out comes back to you. So it went on about how you should form your sentences into positive ones because when you put out what you don't want, when you focus on that, that's all you're going to get.... well.... this post is going to serve as a big FUCK YOU to that idea :)
Let's try something here... I'm going to write about what I don't want... and maybe I'll try and add what I do want right after.... let's see how this will work out!
I don't want to be that girl that starts every conversation with "I need a boyfriend..." One of my girls brought it up the other night... she was referring to an acquaintance she knows that all she talks about is obviously needing a boyfriend. While this blog is about embracing being a single lady, desperately ::achem:: passionately wanting a significant other, and whatever encounters I have with an apple of my eye... I definitely do not want to be that annoying girl. naggy naggy naggy naggy naggy... blah blah blah.
Secondly, I wasn't quite sure what to write about this week, then my bestie sort of hinted at it last night and well, here I am, writing an entry about what I don't want. Now, you remember that big fad a year or 2 ago, The Secret fad? How you should think positively and whatever you put out comes back to you. So it went on about how you should form your sentences into positive ones because when you put out what you don't want, when you focus on that, that's all you're going to get.... well.... this post is going to serve as a big FUCK YOU to that idea :)
Let's try something here... I'm going to write about what I don't want... and maybe I'll try and add what I do want right after.... let's see how this will work out!
I don't want to be that girl that starts every conversation with "I need a boyfriend..." One of my girls brought it up the other night... she was referring to an acquaintance she knows that all she talks about is obviously needing a boyfriend. While this blog is about embracing being a single lady, desperately ::achem:: passionately wanting a significant other, and whatever encounters I have with an apple of my eye... I definitely do not want to be that annoying girl. naggy naggy naggy naggy naggy... blah blah blah.
I do want a significant other...haha... but!
While on that search, I want to solidify myself so that I don't have to depend on a man and see him as an accessory but more so an investment.
While on that search, I want to solidify myself so that I don't have to depend on a man and see him as an accessory but more so an investment.
I don't want to settle. Nope nope nope. While I am determined to find my future husband before I turn an old old age where I have no room in my life for a man because of the plethora of cats that will be living with me, I will not settle. Too many marriages go sour due to settling, a life of unhappiness happens due to settling. Disrespecting yourself, not loving yourself, comes with settling. But, wait, some people settle and are aware of the choice they are making so I don't mean any disrespect to those of you out there. I was a bit harsh, so, I do apologize. Who knows, maybe I will hit a breaking point and end up settling as well.....
I do want to find the love of my life. Cheesy, I know.
I want to live passionately and grow together and individually with another person.
I want love in my life every day.
I don't want to be that girl that no man can be serious with. I know this is kind of silly and odd. But just because I'm silly and sensitive and am all over the place, doesn't mean you shouldn't man up. I'm not sure if this is making any sense. I'm just tired of falling for boys. I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on toddlers. I'm tired of not finding a real fuckin' man who can fuckin' own up and hold his own. You know what.... this should be changed to...
I don't want to be with a fucking boy. I don't think this needs explanation. Because you know what, it ain't my problem, it's theirs. The only problem I have is fuckin' falling for these boys!
you know what else I don't want?
I don't want to be that girl that leads you to your wife. I don't want that. I don't want to be that one that shows you the way, teaches you about life, shows you love and compassion and all the things you thought you could never have... (believe me, I really don't think THAT highly of myself... I know I'm coming off as conceited and self absorbed.... ugh I'm turning into one of those girls... save me!) BUT IT'S TRUE!!!! I feel like most of the relationships I've been in, they tell me I'm special and this and that and ::doing the jerking off gesture:: blah blah blah.... then we part ways and they find their wives! OK!!! OKAY!!! OKAY!!!! I know I'm completely exaggerating, this only happened with one ex of mine..... BUT STILL!!!! WHAT'S TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN!!!??
I want to live passionately and grow together and individually with another person.
I want love in my life every day.
I don't want to be that girl that no man can be serious with. I know this is kind of silly and odd. But just because I'm silly and sensitive and am all over the place, doesn't mean you shouldn't man up. I'm not sure if this is making any sense. I'm just tired of falling for boys. I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on toddlers. I'm tired of not finding a real fuckin' man who can fuckin' own up and hold his own. You know what.... this should be changed to...
I don't want to be with a fucking boy. I don't think this needs explanation. Because you know what, it ain't my problem, it's theirs. The only problem I have is fuckin' falling for these boys!
you know what else I don't want?
I don't want to be that girl that leads you to your wife. I don't want that. I don't want to be that one that shows you the way, teaches you about life, shows you love and compassion and all the things you thought you could never have... (believe me, I really don't think THAT highly of myself... I know I'm coming off as conceited and self absorbed.... ugh I'm turning into one of those girls... save me!) BUT IT'S TRUE!!!! I feel like most of the relationships I've been in, they tell me I'm special and this and that and ::doing the jerking off gesture:: blah blah blah.... then we part ways and they find their wives! OK!!! OKAY!!! OKAY!!!! I know I'm completely exaggerating, this only happened with one ex of mine..... BUT STILL!!!! WHAT'S TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN!!!??
(breathing in and out) X (infinity) = solace.....?
GAH!
GAH!
I do want ........ wait for it.....
wait for it....
(let's see if you can guess....)
you ready??
I want a fucking man.
<3
Note: I am aware that I started this post cool calm and collective.... and then I slowly... or actually, rather quickly turned into psycho single woman hulk. I may have become that "I need a boyfriend" girl, and guess what I will not apologize for it. Have a wonderful week!
wait for it....
(let's see if you can guess....)
you ready??
I want a fucking man.
<3
Note: I am aware that I started this post cool calm and collective.... and then I slowly... or actually, rather quickly turned into psycho single woman hulk. I may have become that "I need a boyfriend" girl, and guess what I will not apologize for it. Have a wonderful week!
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