Farewell

Goodbye cruel world!!!!!!!

::hand to forehead::

just kiddin!!! but not really.... i'm not offing myself... im offing this blog..... ok.... let me start over...

Well friends, it looks like this is going to be my last post on this blog. I've decided to change some things... to make some positive changes. I touched on a lot last week how I want to just be engaged with and to myself, how I really want to focus on me in the now. This blog has been such a great learning experience and has really given me the time to get over past loves, and heartache. It's given me the time to learn from my mistakes, it's really given me the time to learn from my past as well as being okay with moving forward.

I'd like to thank you all for being a part of my life, reading, commenting, being a character in my stories. To the men I've been with this past year, thank you for putting up with me...haha.. I'm not saying I was an all the time pain in the ass, but I know I was insane pushy with the whole "needing to be in a relationship," needing a man, needing someone... somebody!!! ANYBODY!!! haha So, thank you Mr. High School for being patient with me when I couldn't be patient enough with you, thank you Mr. Hands for understanding. Thank you Mr. Nerdgasm and Mr. Teeth for inspiring and motivating me with our failed dates to get me starting this blog!

This year I definitely struggled with needing to be in a relationship and trying too hard. I think I tried so hard that I really lost myself... hence the engagement. So, while this is all so sad and heartbreaking, there is so much positivity to look forward too! I'm really very excited!!

I wrote this first half of the blog at the beginning of this week... and now, trying to finish it up, its quite sweet and sour, I have mixed feelings. There are days when I really am so very excited about this new move in really focusing on me and my own self-worth, in understanding that I really am enough. Then there are times when I think this is too hard and am not really sure I can conquer this. So much is going through my head right now. In any case, I am excited to transform myself this year and I am excited to see what this coming new year has in store for me.

I've, for the most part, been able to let go of past loves and ideas and expectations I had. I'm 95% there and I'm hoping I can jump start this year with a full 100%! I've really learned to just let go of this idea of needing someone to make me happy, I understand, and I've always known, that I need to make me happy. I feel like this will be a hard hard struggle. I have to 100% rely on only me. It scares the shit out of me.

This is sweet and sour for me, I'm torn... maybe it's cause I'm having a rough day....

Anyways, I did start a new blog to track this transition, it's not 100% legit yet, but I have only a few post up. I've decided to explore the realm of tumblr. While blogger has been a great site for this blog, I figured I'd try something new. So, if you want to follow me, my new site is Miz Engaged.

See you all on the flip-side!

live, laugh love
<3
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