Supposed Future Husbands

All of you women out there I'm sure can relate to what this post will be about. I titled this Supposed Future Husbands, but for all of you men who dream of men, or men who dream of women,  and women who dream of women, I'm sure you can relate to this as well!

I think I met my first real Supposed Future Husband when I was 15.  What/who is the mysterious Supposed Future Husband/Wife....in my case Husband....? Well, its a person who you meet and are sure that there is a kind of special connection ... a connection so great that you are sure this person is "the one."  (As a sidenote: Does that ever happen to anyone? Or is it just me and my psycho babble? When you sometimes meet someone or see someone and just feel that there's something deeper than just a brief passing by?)

[I am just going to pause this for a quick second and say that I started to write a whole different post following the above paragaph and then I had a revelation so now I can write this post with a new perspective... It's amazing what writing can do!!!!!]

Since I was 15 there have only really been two, actually, since I was 15 there really have been 3 boys I deeply felt were my Supposed Future Husbands.  The first two infatuations started when I was in High School  and  both recently stopped haha like within a month or two apart  or maybe in the same month!!!!, like 2 years ago. I wrote about experiences with the first two in these posts: here and here. So, mathematically speaking, in the back of my head I thought of these two boys as my Supposed Future Husbands for roughly 10 years.... holy fuck... 10 years!!!! How insane is that!?

This third one, I recently realized, is on my short list of Supposed Future Husbands. I met this one while in college, actually!, after graduating college. Oooo!! My first (and hopefully last) adult Supposed Future Husband! Okay I'm making no sense here... oy!!!

Something I realized, is that with these 3 Supposed Future Husbands, I never had a serious relationship with. I've had sexual relations with them (eww how politically correct  and gross does that sound? Why couldn't I just write "I've slept with them" or "I fucked them" or "I had sex with them" like a normal 20somethin'?), and I dated 2 of them for like 2-3 months but all 3 never really developed into something REAL. Like a real relationship.  I guess there's a reason for that?

Anyways!! I'm sure ya'll out there have had these Supposed Future Husbands/Wives before. You just kinda fall for them and have no control over it. And you don't know if it's realistic or if you're just blinded by the infatuation... do/did you have sound, ground thoughts about this person....? You know how sometimes it takes a while for you to actually open your eyes? I'm pissed it took me 10 years to open mine with the first two!!! haha!! So much heart ache and pain could've been avoided!!! Silly me!!!

Expectations play a big roll in this too. Infatuation, expectations, and dreams, they're all interlinked in this whole love game. Maybe with a dash of hopefulness and helplessness as well. With infatuations comes dreams of a future, dreams of marriage of kids and the white picket fence. Then with the dreams you form expectations, expecting things to turn out a certain way and hoping they could turn out a certain way. Hopefulness of all these beautiful dreams then turns into helplessness because you're not in control of another persons feelings or actions let alone your own feelings for that person. Is this making any sense? Am I sounding really crazy?

Well, with this third one, poor guy! I've definitely been too open about wanting to marry him hahaha. It really is no laughing matter.... let's put our serious faces on! But I would like to say that with this third dude I definitely haven't taken my dreams farther than just wanting to marry him. I also am not expecting anything from him and! I feel that what our relationship/friendship is right now, is a pretty good solid realistic, balanced one... the only silly part of it is me just thinking that I wanna marry this dude. And! When you really think about it, marriage is a huge fucking thing!!! It's a big fuckin' deal... so when I say I dream of marrying this guy or any other, I really mean it very lightly. Sometimes I forget about the gravity of marriage.

So! Here's a promise to myself! No more Supposed Future Husbands!!!! AND!!!! No more talk of future husbandry!!! Well... I don't know about no more talk of future husbandry because lets face it people, aside from family, school and work, what else can I talk about? Maybe baking....hehe

I'm seriously going to try and let go of this Supposed Future Husbandry nonsense. I'm going to try and stop infatuation. It's super hard, I know, so I'm not sure I'll be able to keep this promise. But! I do promise to this third Supposed Future Husband that I wont talk about marrying him again!!! I'm making this public!!! And if I slip and forget, then... I don't know... we'll let Karma kick me in the ass.

:)

So, to all of you Supposed Future Husband/Wife dreamers out there, let's make this promise to ourselves and stop this disease of infatuation once and for all!!! We owe it to ourselves!!!!!! We really do!! Because, what ends up happening when you're infatuated with someone? You end up giving your all when most of the time you get nothing in return, which in turn really lessens your self worth! Dreamers, let's become realists!!!!! VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!!!!

:)


At least for the next 5 minutes? yeah? hehehe

<3

Mr. Spiderman

GUEST POST!!!!!!! 

This is exciting! This is my very first guest post!!! YAY! Last week in class we had to do presentations in class about  2 bad/good etiquette scenarios we encountered. My favorite classmate gave her presentation, at the end of class I went up to her and asked her to write a guest post for my blog! One of the scenarios she presented on was amazing! So, here is the wonderful post by Salama Shani, she's a strong, amazing, beautiful, single woman and runs an awesome lil bakery out of her home! For all of you people out there in Facebook land here is a link to her page Sweet Jonz, check it out, it's full of deliciousness!! Now, without further ado, here is Mr. Spiderman!!!!  Kuh-tsssssssss (that's me spraying web out of my wrist)!!!!!  

p.s. Listen to her words of wisdom at the end, she speaks the truth!

Mr. Spiderman

            An acquaintance from high school reconnected with me on Facebook.  We really did not know each other very well while in high school because he was a popular senior and I was an awkward freshman in the color guard.  Despite that, we were from the same town (Lawnside), so we shared a circle of "friends" on Facebook. 

            One day, out of the blue, he sent me a "friend request" with a message saying that he still thought I was beautiful and wondered if I remembered him.  Well, all you have to do is tell me you think I am beautiful!  I accepted his "friend request" and we began chatting via Facebook.  We eventually exchanged numbers and he began to text message me regularly.  (Side note:  I find the whole conversing through texting extremely annoying.  I am showing my age on this (35) because I remember when men actually conversed with women!  Ok, I won't go off on a tangent on that topic...at least, not right now.)

            Ok, let me get back on track...

            I found out that he lives in the Baltimore area, is a school counselor, has two children, and is recently divorced.  He is currently in graduate school because he would like to become a director of his school district's counseling program.  All this sounded pretty promising (except for the divorce, but, no one is perfect and mistakes are apart of life.  Hey, maybe I am still single because I can be a pain in the a**?  It is all apart of the journey, right?). 

            Fast-forward three weeks.  He is still mostly communicating with me via text message (ugh!).  We have only had one full conversation on the telephone.  One night, he called me, but we only chatted briefly, as he said he had to end the call.  He told me he would call me back later in the evening.  He did not call.  The next morning, he sent me a text message apologizing for not calling me back.  I replied that it was nothing to worry about.  He replied that he would make it up to me.  (NOTE:  Please remember that we have only had one and a half conversations on the phone and that we have yet to meet in-person.)

            In my naïveté, I replied that I was sure he would think of something good.  In my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined what was going to happen next!  I really thought he would reply with dinner and a movie!  Instead, he sent me a text with a picture attached saying, "This should make up for it...". Honest, I truly believed that I was going to open the picture and see a cute puppy with sad eyes or a picture of a bouquet of flowers.  I was not expecting what he sent me!

            I opened the attachment and it was a picture of himself, in a bathroom, taken by him because he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with his camera phone.  He was wearing nothing other than his Spiderman underwear and he was proving to me that he had mastered his newly single life!  It took me a moment to realize what was happening.  (I am not always the brightest bulb in the box.)  I did not know how to respond, so, I did not reply. 

            He sent the picture to me again!  You know, in case I did not get it the first time.  Finally, after the initial shock wore off, I replied that, even though it was obvious he liked his body, maybe we were looking for different things in our relationships with others and that he should find someone who would be more appreciative than I of his risqué photos.  He replied that he was just having fun and did not mean to insult me and that I needed to lighten up.  I told him that a man had never sent me pictures like that and that I was definitely insulted.  He continued to try to back peddle by making me feel like a prude.  He told me that his soft porn display was not a big deal and that he looked basically the same when he was at the beach or poolside (sans his hands in his pants).  I did not care what his excuses were, I was totally turned off.  Who does that?!  I "unfriended" him and asked him to stop contacting me. 

            Since then, he has sent me a text or two.  I have not responded. 

            I think Mr. Spiderman, even though he is pushing 40 years old, has become a victim of today's technology.  As I mentioned, back in the day, men called and conversed with women.  Actual conversations with authentic emotions; not just LOL :).  The lack of technology required men and women to be more invested in each other.  In having a real conversation with a woman, a man would not, for example, say, "Oh baby, I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night.  But, I'm standing in front of my bathroom mirror in my Spidey drawers, touching myself.  That should make it up to you, baby."  Really?!  Am I supposed to believe that would have ever happened back in the day?  I was there, those things did not happen! 

            Nowadays, men text instead of talking.  Speaking as just one woman in love with men, I miss hearing your voices!  Fellas, here's the deal...we love hearing your voices!  Personally, I LOVE the way men say my name.  The bass in their voices hits all the right syllables just right and I feel completely enveloped in masculinity.  I love it!  I love talking with a man and knowing I make him laugh out loud (for real).  Fellas, when we talk to you, we can hear the smile on your face!  It can be a beautiful thing! 

            I fear technology has made us lazy and has taken the fun and romance out of getting to know each other.  Sigh...how I miss those good ole days...those days before IM and texting.  Some of you may not be able to fully appreciate what I am saying.  But, think about it...don't you think you would make a person feel extra special by setting aside time to talk to them.  Just talk.  Real life talk without multitasking.  Directing your focus to someone you like lets them know they are special. 

            Here's my suggestion (if you even care), the next time you want to let someone know you are thinking about them, fight the desire to send a :), and call them instead.  You might like talking...it can be fun. 

What's your shoe size?

Long overdue... I KNOW!!!! Life has been insane the past couple of weeks! I'm mad at myself for skipping posts two weeks in a row!!! WAAHHH!!!! sigh.... My sister got married 2 weeks ago so that weekend was hectic, then last weekend was busy busy as well! Anyways, I wont dwell on the boring stuff... let's get to the good stuff!!!

This week at work a coworker of mine decided to start a discussion topic that started out pretty innocent and ended pretty dirty...rawr! So, just a heads up to the dirtiness that will follow :)

My coworker decided to take a poll and asked everyone at work what the top 3 things are they notice in  a person they'd be interest in. The boys said basically T&A (typical boys), the gals said eyes, smile, teeth, hands, shoulders, and package (I feel like I'm missing something?). So, that's how this innocently started. Then we got to talking about size....tips on how a woman can tell what the dude is packing.

One coworker said that its all in their thumbs. That there is a correlation  between a guys thumb and what he's packing. I've always thought there was a definite correlation between dudes hands and what he's packing. If he's got long fingers then hes packing something with length, if he's got chubby fingers he's got some girth.  I mean, you might've read somewhere in this blog that a mans hands are pretty important to me, but it has nothing to do with what he's packing. I just love a workin' man, a man that's got man hands!!! Hands where there are scars, a little rough (NOT TOO ROUGH!!!eww!), hands where you can see his veins on top(crazy?).  Man hands that are fragile and dainty and pretty, just bug me!

ANYWAYS!!!

Then someone asked a customer, a gay man, what his tips are and how he sizes a man up...so to speak. This man also started talking about hands. What he said was really interesting though!!! And!!!! Made perfect sense! He said that what a man is packing is no thinner than his middle and pointer fingers and no thicker than his 3 middle fingers. How does this make perfect sense? Well, when a dude is getting it on with a chick and he's fingering her, a good way for him to know if he's gonna "fit" is by using that theory! Very interesting!!! Now! I don't know if its true, I can't go asking my exes to email me pics of his hands so I can figure it out, and I don't have a boy to test this theory on, but I believe it, if I think back really hard, it makes sense. Like I said, I've always thought there was a direct correlation between a mans hands and what he's packing.

Then there's the whole idea that his length is from the bottom of his palm to the tip of his middle finger, or from the tip of his pinky to the tip of his thumb (if his hand is stretched.). Anyways! Interesting facts hu? Nothing  SUPER important, just interesting, and maybe insightful? haha?

Then!! The coworker who started this whole conversation said that there was a secret that men used to know the depth of a woman. We, all of the female workers, were shocked and needed to know what it was! He wouldn't tell us! So there we were, crowded around him, nagging him, begging him to tell us!!! We started throwing out guesses,  is it the mouth? ears? hands? How?!!?!?! He said that it had nothing to do with her face. He refused to tell us, so, on our breaks we googled it on our phones to try and find out....nothing, nothing surfaced!!!

Finally, a customer, who's cool with the coworker came in and we asked him. Good thing the coworker wasn't around because he would've told the customer not to tell us. So, we ask the customer "what part of the female body does a guy look at to tell what her vag is like?" and right away, with no hesitation he says "her feet."

Feet?! really!?!? So, if you take a woman's shoe size, change it to a mans size that apparently is her depth. I think that's pretty crazy and makes no sense what so ever! These boys apparently swear on it.  The customer also had the audacity to say that short girls can't handle it.... I was like "wait!? excuse me!? are you saying I can't handle it?!!? That's bullshit! I can handle anything!!" :) hahaha This dude was also saying that just by looking at a chick, how she stands, how she walks he can tell if she can "handle" him...rolls eyes... btw... I looked at this dudes hands, and if all of our theories are right...he aint packin :) hahahaha which goes on to prove another theory, the more they talk the smaller they are!!

:)

sigh... my oh my.... what an interesting day that was... and of course that day and the ones that followed I couldn't stop looking at males hands and either being intrigued, disgusted, or giggly about it.  At one point the coworker that I sit next to and I were both looking at one of her customers hands and looked at each other and just started cracking the fuck up, it was too too funny!!!

Anyways, I hope this post made up for the absence of the past 2 weeks!

I promise to have one next week as well!

Love love love!!!

To all you single lads and lasses out there (and taken ones as well), check out  the feet and hands out there, it's fun!!!

ow!!!!!

<3

... Part 2

So, I don't have much planned for this weeks blog post, I might not write anything ... I'm not sure. I've been so busy and haven't had any time to myself. A lot is going on I just don't have time!!! Wahh!

I was thinking of attempting to write a post but here I am in bed with heavy eye lids. So sad, so lame! I hope to get something up later on this week!! Crossing my fingers!!! Sorry ya'll!
remember, "all you need is love."


love love

<3