Nostalgia Part 1

When we go about our days we create new memories and we are reminded of old memories by cues that pop up during conversation, with sight, sound or smell. Well! I'm going to write about some old memories... are you ready....???

I'm going to write about my awkward and not so awkward hookups I had in the past... and get this, it's during the best time of all of our lives.... MIDDLE & HIGH SCHOOL! My first kiss, my first obsession/crush/love, my revenge hookups (yes, they exist), and of course all of my heartache in between....sigh. :)

First lets start off with a little bit of history pre-teen years.

Note: For security purposes I'm going to have to change the names of my pursuers ;)

Elementary School

The first date I ever went on was with Jeff in 3rd grade, we went and saw The Never Ending Story the sequel with his dad, so romantic. Two things I remember about Jeff were his chubby, and veiny, cheeks, and his big big eyes. The end of my first love :)

Which goes on to remind me... when I was in elementary school my friend once asked me who I had a crush on, and I told her in all seriousness that I had a crush on all the boys in our grade, except for the nerds of course, shows you how easy to please I was.... sigh.

Middle School

My first real one on one date was with Arthur at the beginning of eighth grade. Him and I dated for a week. He was a really great guy, and part of me wishes I stuck it out longer with him, but I didn't ... I was in love with another..... read on.

Eighth grade was it for me. I was in love, I found my future husband! Bert Williams was his name.... I was sure to become the next Mrs. Williams, Mrs. Neomie Williams, that's right! That was how infatuated I was with him!! Sigh, oh Bert! He was the cutest thing ever! And! Everyone I told I had a crush on him told me that we'd make the cutest couple!!!! I had the guests for the wedding, all I had to do was get the man and wedding invitations and start the registry.

Long story short, if I'm even capable of doing that. He asked me to the 8th grade dance and of course I accepted. We went on a date or 2 beforehand, and on those dates I had my first kisses (with tongue!!!) and he went to 2nd base on me.... which was very very weird for me... one time we were in the back of a movie theater and he just lifted up my shirt and copped a feel and when he stopped he just left my shirt up and I was thinking "WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!" Yeah, that's how stupid I was, I actually let my boob hang out for a good 10-20 seconds before covering it back up... ugh! I didn't know if he was done or if I should leave it out so it wouldn't be so much of a hassle for him to get back to it next time.... WHAT THE FUCK!?!??!?!?! I'm worried about sharing this... this is weird... anyways, lets move on....

So, we went to the dance and shortly there after our romance was over, he broke up with me. Sigh..... my heart was broken. That was when I implanted in my head that boys only want me for my boobs...

While I was dating Bert I was always chatting online with his BFF Brad. Here comes my first revenge hookup... now, I'm not that evil but I was angry Bert broke up with me! We were supposed to get married!!!! So Brad and I chatted it up and we picked a time to hang out. Now, I'm not sure if we had talked about hooking up or not, I don't remember. Brad and I picked a day to hang out, my mom drove me to his place and no one was at his place.

First of all, why on gods earth would my mom drive me over to a boys house and let us hang out ALONE?!?! But, I have pretty lax parents so that's cool :) I don't really recall how long I was over there for, all we did was watch TV, we were incredibly shy with one another, which was weird because we were so talkative online!

Then, my mom calls to tell me she's coming to pick me up. From my house to his, it was probably a 10-15min drive. Of course, that's when he decided to make his move!!!! I swear, our lips were locked for the FULL 10-15 min!!! I, again, didn't know what the fuck to do!!! We just kept on kissing and kissing and kissing and it was so sloppy and slobbery that I remember the whole time we were kissing I could feel the pool of saliva build up on my chin!!!!! Then my mom called and, THANK GOD, that was the end of my revenge hookup!!!

....want to find out what happened in high school?? Stay tuned for Nostalgia Part 2........

<3

Mr. High School

(Here's a little semi-end-of-the-week delight!) :)


So!

I didn't write about this one before because I didn't really have anything bad to say about it and it seemed to be a short, sweet, no "to be continued" date so I didn't think writing about it would do anything.....

Turns out I was wrong :)


Let's take this back to High School for a second. When I was a senior in HS I had a few classes with this dude. Mr. High School is tall, black, handsome and he ain't no scrawny little thing, just how I like a man to be! Anyways, we were in different circles but that didn't really matter we would chat it up and flirt a bit. He would always ask me out, he would do it when his friends were around and it just always seemed like he was joking. So I never took him seriously. I totally wanted to go out with him but I was never sure if he was serious, so I just had fun flirting and chatting with him in class and that was that. Then we graduated and I never heard from him again.... until this lovely social networking got our paths to cross once more!

Mr. High School and I became friends on this social networking site about a year ago, we didn't really leave comments or anything until a couple of months ago. He would leave nice comments on my photos and what not. Then one day he IMed me on this site and said that he's been waiting for a date with me since High School. We chatted a bit and I told him I never thought he was serious and blah blah blah.... so then I said to him "Let's do it!"

So we did!!


Man!! My friends and I were so excited!! Well, the friends I've known since High School and knew about Mr. High School and how I was into him back then. I wasn't obsessively into him or anything but I was into him, I just didn't want to make an ass out of myself if he was joking about asking me out. I dreamed about it from time to time but I figured it was all just a joke and would never happen. So, you can imagine how exciting this was for me and my gals!!!!

We set up a time and sort of a place to meet and this is how it went down:

We decided to meet up in Old City after I was done work. I was nervous and gross!!! It, of course, was fuckin' hot out! I stupidly walked from work to Old City, that's like... an 11 block walk. It's not a far walk at all, but in the heat it becomes a fuckin' sweat walk!!! ugh!

So we met at a corner, hugged, I apologized for my grossness eep! We walked around looking for a spot to grab a bite and drink at. Finally we decided on a spot. But first before I forget!! His appearance definitely changed since high school. He had on glasses and his hair was different and he seemed so much wiser and mature and right off he seemed like a MAN. You know what I mean? A fuckin' MAN! Anyways!!!

We were catching up, what we've been doing the past 10 years blah blah blah. Talked about the people we still keep in touch with, about the people we graduated with. We talked about politics as well. We seemed to have the same view on a lot of things, it was nice and refreshing. So we ate, had a drink and I was assuming we'd walk around afterward, or do something else. He ever so kindly paid the bill. I definitely offered because I just hate the whole stereotype of the dude having to pay the bill. While it is nice, it's unfair.

So he paid, we got up and as we are leaving he says to me "So, where are you off to now?" My heart sank a bit. Fine, there weren't any instant sparks or fireworks or anything like that, but I wasn't having a bad time, and like I said earlier, I expected we were going to do something else! So I said I was going home... he was going to take the bus back to NJ but he took the train with me instead so that was nice! We got an extra 30 min together!

I waited a day or 2 to thank him for the date.
I wrote: "Hey! Just wanted to thank you for the date! I had fun.Have a great week!"

His reply confused me a bit.
He wrote: "Thank u for bein u. u ur welcome. i was was happy to n i had fun also. u have a wonderful week and good luck. see you soon. "

Good luck???

Good luck with what? Applying to school? Good luck on the dating front? Good luck with what?? Good luck finding a future husband? Good luck u got no shot with me? Good luck with your week?

GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT?!?!?!?!?!


So, that was it... I hadn't heard from him for a little over a month and then this week he IMs me again... and we are in the midst of planning a second date....

So, this whole thing is to be continued... there will be a 2nd date posting to come.. soon? I don't know when...

It does seem a little fishy that I hadn't heard from him in a little over a month... along with the good luck... along with the 1.5hr date... but!

Maybe that's how he is, I like to give people numerous chances! :)

He seems like a great guy though, and we have yet to find out what this man is really all about ;) But I also know that he can be a shy guy, so maybe that's what's going on.

And!! Of course!! I read too much into things sometimes... or sometimes I even read things completely wrong. We will see how the second date goes down....

So!!

To be continued...

<3

Investments

Here I am, coming to you from South Jersey with this very important message!

Single Women of any
race, socioeconomic, educational etc. standing please hear me!
INVEST!!!! Do Not SHOP!!!

What?!?!!?

That's right! We are all on the hunt for a good, real, man, right? So let's just do this the right way! I was introduced to this man Paul Carrick Brunson... not in person of course ,virtually... well, fuck! whatever, my friend told me about Paul Carrick Brunson, he has a vlog on youtube and he's, I guess, a modern day matchmaker! So he vlogs about various issues that single men and women deal with, have questions about, whatever...

I was directed to look at one of his vlogs: The Modern Day Matchmaker: Ep #2 "Successful, (Insert Race Here), & Lonely"

He starts off by addressing this specific vlog to successful professionals... now, I am neither successful NOR am I professional.. I still feel like a high schooler at times. At first I didn't want to hear what this dude had to say because that threw me off, but I shut myself up and I listened to him... his theory in this vlog entry was about Shopping vs. Investing when looking for that dream man.

If you'd like you can just go ahead and watch his short 7min vlog or you can read what I got out of it and what I think of it... your choice, I wont take it personally :)

So, Shopping vs Investing for a real man. Lets go over the two so we can see the differences.

Shopping: First thing he says is that if you have a shopping mentality it wont work. What does this shopping mentality mean? This is what it means.. when you catch yourself saying " I want a man to bring to holiday dinners, to keep me warm in the winter to take me here and there" That is a shopping mentality and what I just realized kind of objectifying a human being! eep! Paul says it right when he says its like looking for a Bentley at a used car lot, you wont find one, and if you do it'll be nice and shiny but wont last long. When we focus on silly things like that, we might as well just bring along a blow up doll.... and it's vice versa as well, in my opinion, as in men also focusing on silly things, not about blow up dolls taking us out...?!?! I don't know, just continue reading.

I catch myself saying that I just want someone to love and to love me back, and I just want some one to kiss, to cuddle with.. someone I can hold hands with and walk in the rain with. These are just outside things, they don't keep a relationship going. What keeps a relationship going is the heart and the perseverance and the sacrifices each person makes....I'll get into sacrifices later...

Another thing Paul mentions is Elitism. Single, successful, professional women have this elitist mentality " I have a degree, a job, money, anything I want, why am I still single?" They think that they should have men lined up at their door and the ones that don't fit up to their standards i.e. not having a degree or successful job, should get out of line. Why narrow our choices and be so blind to what the rest of the world has to offer? I don't think I think like that (aside from my scrawny men jokes haha) but for all of you other single women out there, while it's good to have standards, material possession isn't something I think we should standardize when looking for a good man.


Investing: This, according to Paul, gets you the real man. The man that we all truly want and need. The man that we see in all of these wonderful working relationships that surround us. Paul compares making an invest in a man with making an investment in a house. These are the steps we go through.

#1 - Leave no stone unturned - When looking for a house you look everywhere! All over the place! Granted, you know how many rooms you want and what not so that gets rid of a few, but other than that you leave no stone unturned, you go and look at all the 2 bedroom houses in the area! Same with men, leave no stone unturned, go out on dates with whoever! Sure there may be that 1 bdrm man that sneaks up on you and that's okay to turn him down for the other 2bdrm men you're interested in... haha hope you caught my drift with that one! (knee slap!)

#2- Due Diligence- Once you've found that 2bdrm apartment do your research on it! Talk to neighbors about it, read every report, check the walls, DO YOUR RESEARCH! Of course we are all humans/bricks and no one/thing is perfect! So we will of course hear some bad things about this wonderful 2 bdrm house, but what you must keep in mind is " can this house meet this vision that I have?" Once you get that down, it's on to the next step.

#3- Make Sacrifices- Once you've chosen this house and saw its potential to meet your vision, you go all in. You put everything down. You put it all on the line! Keep in mind, that when you do that, this whole investment thing doesn't stop there, in fact, it starts there! That's right! This is when the investment begins, you nurture it, it takes time for it to mature and grow and become that comfortable house you envisioned it to be. You spend more resources in order to make sure that that investment yields for you. Sacrifice yourself, give yourself put it all in for this new man.

So in the end gals we got to invest and NOT shop! If we are looking for a real man to have a real future with we have to integrate the investment mentality and ween out the shopping mentality... invest, invest, invest.

Same for you too, you single men out there, invest invest invest don't go shopping!

With all this ultimately comes sacrifice.. I really like that... you must sacrifice. Get rid of that ego, flaunt your faults, let the guard down, fucking compromise,meet half way! Sacrifice a bit of you to get a bit of him.

Let's start hunting for our real futures so we can truly invest in a beautiful house together!

<3

p.s. I hope I didn't chop up his theory :)

Dactivation

Hello lovely followers,

I did not follow up with what I said I would last week. I wanted to write in response to Paul Carrick Brunsons youtube posts, but then this week got busy, and I got sick.

Still fighting the congestion. sniffle sniffle

I watched Broken English today, I thought I hadn't seen it but apparently I've seen it before.

Anyways, it's funny how some movies lately have played a role running parallel to my life, hu?.. interesting, could it be fate? Maybe they're egging me on, supporting me on this subconscious/conscious renewal I'm on.

This movie was about a desperate 30something (I'm getting close to it! eeep!) and how she keeps on having failed relationships failed dates and she wants love so bad that that's what fucking everything up!

I know I've noted before about how once in a while I give into this desperation and I see the light and don't care about it all. I enjoy my time while not caring.

Of course once this lady in the movie gave up and gave into it all, love popped right up, it was, in a way, handed on a silver platter to her.

So, after watching the movie I decided to deactivate my Okc account.

Yup, I did it. Along with my desperate need to find love, I also desperately want to meet my future husband in person, not on-line.

Who knows, maybe I'll join back up in a week or two or three... who knows.

But for now, it is deactivated and I'm determined to meet someone in person.

Anyways, this is a crappy post and I don't have much energy....

Maybe I'll post something midweek, we'll see

take care
<3

In all seriousness...

Some inspiration if you will.

So, so far this blog has been full of silly posts... I think it'd be good to have a serious one from time to time don't you think?

I guess I felt rushed with the last post but I guess I should learn to take my time with this. While I do want to post something at least once a week, I should really learn that timing is key. In any case, I'm going to write about two things that went on this weekend.

Eat, Pray, Love

I just got back from watching Eat, Pray, Love. While this is probably portrayed as a "chick flick" it really is an inspiring movie that really makes you think. Based on the novel "Eat, Pray, Love" it is a true story of a woman's journey to finding balance in life and in love.

That is the journey I am on. While I joke around about finding my future husband and being completely desperate, I am in all seriousness trying to find that balance within myself. I know that I need that balance, that stability in order to be in a place to welcome real, true love into my life.

These past couple of months I have been on a journey. I was stuck in this weird place, this depression if you will, this stagnation that really didn't allow me to move further to grow further in life. I was stuck in this spot for almost 2 years of my life. I know I'm only 27 and I have my whole life ahead of me and 2 years isn't THAT long, it really is. Every moment, every second should be used to learn something new about the world about life about yourself. I know this may seem cheesy but it really is true. I am not trying to discredit anything that happened the past 2 years because thanks to everything I've been through, everything I've learned, living with and loving the people I was with, I am able to be here. Thank you :)

The woman in this movie, the author of this book took a year off to go to Italy, India, and Indonesia to simply eat, pray and love. Now, I know not all of us can travel far to be able to learn the things she did, I really believe that you can do the same traveling and the same learning right where you're sitting.

I technically did do traveling back and forth between here and California to really get to this place in my life, so maybe I had some travel but I really didn't start learning until I surrendered to this stagnation and decided to change it.

It's like my friend told me long long ago, "you learn nothing when you're comfortable." It is so true. Challenge is the key, fear is the key to learning about yourself and about life.

This may seem unorganized so bear with me.

I'm taking this movie, this story as a form of inspiration. I am going to apply it to my life. Like I said, these past couple of months I have decided to rid this stagnant feeling and I have been doing an awesome job doing so. I am pursuing a career in something that I've had a passion for for at least the past 10 years of my life. Why not jump up, grab it and go?

So in reference to her journey I'm going to start with ,Eat. No, I didn't go to Italy to eat and find my appetite. But I found my appetite here, at home. I eat, and I enjoy what I eat and I take it in. Sure from time to time I fret about the calories and the weight I've gained. Part of my own journey has been to be comfortable in my own skin and I'm really getting there. Today I bought a dress a short dress, an "above the knee" dress. I've always hated my legs, today I decided to embrace them and wear a short fuckin dress. It was completely liberating!

Pray. I have my own issues with "god." I don't like organized religion, I don't like the idea of "god." I like the idea of the UNIVERSE. The universe brought me here and it impacts me just as I impact it. But I still feel like I need to tap into my own spirituality. I expect love to come, but it is true, and I've known this, that I really need to love and embrace myself in order to allow love in my life. I should make my own ritual and practice it every day. Maybe I will take up meditation to have some peace of mind. Maybe I'll write down my wishes and dreams and they can be my own religion. I need to tap into my own religion, into my spirituality and I need to own it.

Love. Love. That fuckin' 4 letter word. What does it mean? What is it? How do you know when you're in love? blah blah blah.. why does it run my world? Why do I give it the power to ruin my world too? Love myself? Love another? Being loved? As I've said before, as I'm sure you have all heard a million times and as I've drilled it in my own head but never practiced it, "You must love yourself before you can truly, wholly, love another." Now, that doesn't mean I haven't loved another because every one that I have and do love, I truly do love! It doesn't negate anything. But maybe I do need to love myself in order to "find my future husband. "

I do love myself, but not fully. I know I have a lot to work on and I am very, very, extremely hard on myself. But I am learning more and more about myself as every day passes. I take these things I learn and I either try to change them, I embrace them, or I celebrate them! We are all a work in progress and we may always be a work in progress till the day we die. But the most important thing to do is to love yourself and embrace yourself.

From time to time I surrender to this need to find my future husband. I give up. And I think it's a wonderful thing to do. Because it is in those times that I can feel more confident in myself and that's when I learn the most about myself.

Anyways, I think you get the gist of this whole Eat, Pray, Love thang and how it got the wheels in my head turning. On to the next thing.

Time

This was briefly mentioned in the movie but I was also talking about it with my friend and her husband yesterday in the pool. It is funny some girls, well the girls I know, how we seem to measure our lives, our own time line, by the men we've been with. In the movie she mentioned how since she was 15 she was either with a boy or dealing with heartache and has never had time to herself. I guess that didn't really mention time per se, but it reminded me of the conversation I had the day before.

Why do we have to measure our lives by the men we've been with, by the infatuations we had in the past. Lately most of my time line has dealt with "the time I was living in CA" or "the time I was living in Philadelphia." I also catch myself talking about memories I've had, or things I've done, or things I learned in time frames of which boyfriend or crush I had.

Why do we have to measure our lives by love? I guess once you're in a long term, serious, relationship that time frame slowly slips away. We all yearn for love, and I guess that is why I have the needs and wants that I have today. The need to be loved, wanting to find my future husband. Hey baby, it takes time.

It takes time. The staple to everyone's dilema. It takes time.

Anyways, I think I am just super rambling on now. I'll be surprised if anyone actually read this far into this entry. I wonder if boys measure their time by the girlfriends they've had. If any boys are reading this, please amuse me.

In any case, I am on a journey. This single 20something gal is on a journey to find balance and end up in love with herself and *hopefully* with someone else.

Take care
<3

Ramble On

I'm slacking with this post guys, I apologize. I really don't have anything lined up for this weeks post! I had a couple of ideas. I wanted to talk about my dreamy mind and how much it annoys me... fine... I'll get into it!

I was talking to my coworker about this and I thought other people thought this way, I guess I'm the only one... I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I definitely feel like the only one.

You know how in movies these days, DAMN THE ROMANTIC COMEDY MOVIES!! DAMN THEM!!, but you know how in movies these days everything is perfect or nearly perfect and everything works out in the end. Like even that fuckin movie "He's Just Not That Into You" that movie pissed me the fuck off. It's a movie about boys not being into girls and girls not getting it. But then of course, they all end up together, what the fuck? Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to is, is that these movies fill my brain and so many other women's brains with this nonsense bullshit!! BULLSHIT, I tell ya, BULLSHIT!

So, there are some days when I'm perfectly fine being a single lady, working at the bank, having fun being silly. Then there are the days when I am just a lame gal who just wants some one to love and who just wants to be loved.

Once my heart sends this lonesome signal to my brain, all hell breaks loose!! The box of ex's suddenly blows open and there I am, standing at my station dreaming that an ex will come walking through those damn doors. Of course there will be that steamy/foggy shit around their feet and a bright light behind them and possibly doves flying all over the place. Oh and a gust of wind, definitely a gust of wind. And this man, this man will profess his love to me. Tell me how he's changed and how he wants to be with me and be a better man for me.

That's of course where my dreams stop, I just realized that. I never think about what happens after dude professes his love to me and how he's changed. Because, you know what, things like that do happen in real life, now that I think of it. You know when getting into quarrels and arguments with significant others we always tell them we love them and that we'll change... most of the time it lasts a week and things go back to normal.... SO!

What, I guess, I'm assuming when I have these dreams, is that they changed and will stay the man I need them to be, forever!

Anyways that's how I think, I sometimes look up at those doors at the bank hoping some one will just walk right in. Well, people do walk right in, just not my dream man...sigh...

Why can't life be like the movies, from time to time it would be nice. Not all the time, just from time to time.

It pisses me off how these fuckin' fantasy movies have brainwashed me! Life is hard, its cruel and it's real, its not fiction and not fluffy. Yes, there are times in life when life is beautiful. Shit, life is beautiful right now, I'm not trying to put it down. I'm just saying that when it comes to love, life should be a little more considerate about it.

Anyways I should stop rambling on. You guys aren't getting much out of this post. See, I knew it'd be a worthless post!!

So, I wanted to talk about that and I wanted to post a picture of a cup I saw in New Orleans, and I wanted to post a video and write about what Paul Carrick Brunson talks about how when women look for men they are Shopping rather than Investing. Maybe next week I'll work on a
good post filled with Paul Carrick Brunson stuff.

Sorry I slacked this week ya'll!


I'll just leave you with this photo!







<3

Space Oddity

Staring off into space...



Ground Control to Major Future Husband.....



Where are you?



Floating off somewhere... somewhere far far off into the outter limits of space on a special planet called Future Husband. As a collective group I think that all of us single, sadly desperate (maybe it's just me), women need to contact NASA, find a rich rich rich donor to pay for our flights off into space, and land on planet Future Husband. Once we land it'll be like arriving at the airport, our future husbands will be standing there, waiting for us, with HUGE smiles on their faces holding a sign with our names so beautifully written in hot pink calligraphy on a lush black velvet background with feathers and flowers bordering our names. Of course unicorns and leperachauns will be standing by their sides.



OY!



Y'know working at my job provides me the visual and mental delight of imagining all of the super cute boys/men customers I help, as my potential future husbands. For example, there is this one customer that comes in to get change orders for his place of work. He is short and stocky has a cute lil mini gelled mohawk and piercings, and when he walks in wearing those Dickies I just melt. He is just soo soo cute! My coworker thinks he's into me, I would like to think that as well but I don't want to get ahead of myself.



Another customer is tall, dark, and has long dreads... mmm mmm mmm. He works for a dance studio, mabye he can teach me a few moves... wink wink... if ya know what I mean... nudge nudge. In all seriousness though I'd probably just topple over myself and he'd stand there, point and laugh. No, no, no! No future husband of mine would EVER be that shallow! So, he'd probably lower his head in shame, walk away and right then and there would begin the divorcing process with my future ex-husband, the dancer. Sad face.



Really though, I feel like Mr. Dancer is out of my league. I know, I should be more confident, but he is just too beautiful for me. I think that there could be some potential with Mr. Dickies. One thing I do have to mention that turns me off a little about Mr. Dickies is that he sometimes closes his eyes when he talks. I know, something so minute and silly could actually be a deterrant to being with my potential future husband...wtf! I'm going to go ahead and look past that and be the big person here. hehe



In any case, I was thinking of grabbing my balls and asking Mr. Dickies out. I think that would be a great challenge for myself as well as all the lovely single ladies out there! Seriously! Let's grab our balls and do this! I'm such a pussy though! How the hell can I ask a dude out? AND! Am I allowed to ask someone out while I'm at work? Well, shit, I'm writing this while I'm at work so fuck it! Maybe I'll try and get some of my gals to go to his place of work and try and "work it" if ya know what I mean. ;)



Seriously though let's do this challenge. I'm making this public and all of you are holding me accountable to this! I'm going to give myself a month to ask a boy out. It may seem too long but this is some serious business, this is my future on the line. I have to make sure I plan this out as to not make a fool out of myself, and not loose another chance with a potential future husband! Who's with me!?

Oy, I really don't know what I'm talking about.... forgive me for this post, I promise next weeks post will be better!!!!!!

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND ALREADY!!!! Is that too much to ask of you, universe? It's just one simple, painless request! Just send down those men from Planet Future Husband and I'll be fine, I swear! This is a desperate cry for help!

Ground Control to Major Future Husband your circuits dead, there's something wrong....

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?



<3

Mr. Nerdgasm

OKcupid date #2

With this dude I wasn't 100% into him like I was with Mr. Teeth, so I figured it was a good thing. I thought that maybe it would work out oppositely than it did with Mr. Teeth. If I wasn't super into this dude at first, maybe when meeting him there will be fireworks!?!?! sigh, oh me!

His pics weren't that bad. He seemed a bit meaty. (I'm sure you can guess that I like dudes with a bit of meat, no scrawny boys.) He had a cute smile and his profile was silly. But, still, I wasn't as intrigued with him as I was with Mr. Teeth.

So, after setting up a time to meet this dude, the day of he postponed it to 30min later... and then showed up 20min late. I guess he had a good excuse, he had to go home after work to make sure his house wasn't flooded. It was raining crazy that day. I suggested we meet another day, but he declined. At the time I wished he hadn't, but in retrospect it was good I got this date over with.

We met up at a local gelato place just down the street from where I work. That way if it was a hot sweaty day I wouldn't have to travel far so I could look in tip top shape! It's a shame I wasted such a cute outfit on this dude...eeep! I can always recycle though! :)

I'm guessing you can already tell where this is going. The full 2 hrs I was with him I was thinking of ways to get out of the date!! I didn't know what to do!

WHY ME!?!!?!?!

Let me start off by saying that nerds are cute... well, some of them are.

But.....

This guy was an INTENSE nerd... IN-fuckin'-TENSE!!! Definitely not my type. He was all about Star Trek, Anime, and video games AND!!!....and... he was talking about all the things that gave him "nerdgasms." Now, I've heard the term "nerdgasm" before, in fact, I think my ex used it from time to time. This dude used it way too much! Way way way too much! Every other word had to of been fuckin' "nerdgasm."


SAVE ME PLEASE!!!





And! I don't know if it's just me but people in their online pics look a little more meatier than they are in person.... I want some meat people! MEAT!!! He was a typical scrawny nerdy dude. I'm not trying to hate on nerds or scrawny people or a combination of the two, it's just not to my liking.

You know, silence isn't always a bad thing on dates. There's comfortable silence, and then there's awkward silence. Well, you can tell the date is going bad when there's a shit ton of awkward silence. At one point we were trying to think of things we messaged about on OKcupid to continue talking about. Oh, and in the bits of silence he would rub his chin/beard and have this thinking face on:




Anyways.. yeah, needless to say, it was a bad date.

Finally! He looked at his phone to check the time and he said "Oh! I have to put money in the parking meter" and I said "Oh?! what time is it?" (this was my exit!!!) He said "It's 6. We should go for a beer, or you know what? It's dinner time, lets get some dinner!" My response was "oh man! It's 6!! My brother is visiting from Rutgers and I told him I'd have dinner with him at 7! I'm sorry I have to go!"





Thank the lordy lord!! I was sort of telling the truth so I didn't feel that bad, but I did stumble over a few words hehehe oh man! But, alas, I WAS FREE!!!

So, as it turns out, he liked me. How do I know this?? Keep on reading!!

As soon as I get home I got a message from him saying " Wow it was really cool seeing you in 3-D and I didn't even need those movie theater glasses! When can we hang out again so I can tell my friends I'll be meeting a cool chick that day?"




OY!!!!!!

In human language that would be translated to "I had a great time meeting you. When do you want to meet again?" or whatever a macho man would say.

So.. I waited a day to gather my thoughts and come up with a good rejection letter.. and it went something like this "Hey, it was cool meeting you. You're a cool guy but I just didn't feel a connection. I'm sure there's a girl out there for you! Good luck!"

He messaged me back telling me he was a bit bummed but c'est la vie sorta thing...

The End
<3







Just kidding!

The next day I got another message from him telling me that he's going about his day normally then randomly thinks to himself "really?! after 2 hours it's over!" and that he thought that that was gonna win the "shortest date" but really his shortest date lasted around 30min....

I want to meet that girl and find out how she got out of it!!!!!

Not to be mean or anything but I think that should tell ya something bucko... I dunno... could be just me? haha "It's not you, it's me.... our relationship wouldn't last, I'd be too worried I wouldn't be able to give you as good a Nerdgasm as Spock could. sigh, sorry :( "

Moral of the story:

- FIND WAYS TO GET OUT OF THE DATE WHILE NOT FEELING BAD!!!!! Prepare yourself ahead of time :) I think putting it into practice as many times as you can would be beneficial, that way you wont feel as bad after the ... 10th failure. Well! Hopefully after the 10th failure you will have landed Mr. Right. So the saying goes "It takes going through 10 guys to find the right one." My question to that is "Is it just 10 or 10hundred? 10thousand?" I obviously need some sort of clarification here.

hahaha

until next time!!

<3