I don't want....

Alright, first off, sorry about last week... I was exhausted and had no time or honestly no motivation to write. I like to try and do a weekly post and sometimes I just force it and it comes out like shit... so la de da... here's hoping this one wont fail :)


Secondly, I wasn't quite sure what to write about this week, then my bestie sort of hinted at it last night and well, here I am, writing an entry about what I don't want. Now, you remember that big fad a year or 2 ago, The Secret fad? How you should think positively and whatever you put out comes back to you. So it went on about how you should form your sentences into positive ones because when you put out what you don't want, when you focus on that, that's all you're going to get.... well.... this post is going to serve as a big FUCK YOU to that idea :)

Let's try something here... I'm going to write about what I don't want... and maybe I'll try and add what I do want right after.... let's see how this will work out!

I don't want to be that girl that starts every conversation with "I need a boyfriend..." One of my girls brought it up the other night... she was referring to an acquaintance she knows that all she talks about is obviously needing a boyfriend. While this blog is about embracing being a single lady, desperately ::achem:: passionately wanting a significant other, and whatever encounters I have with an apple of my eye... I definitely do not want to be that annoying girl. naggy naggy naggy naggy naggy... blah blah blah.

I do want a significant other...haha... but!
While on that search, I want to solidify myself so that I don't have to depend on a man and see him as an accessory but more so an investment.

I don't want to settle. Nope nope nope. While I am determined to find my future husband before I turn an old old age where I have no room in my life for a man because of the plethora of cats that will be living with me, I will not settle. Too many marriages go sour due to settling, a life of unhappiness happens due to settling. Disrespecting yourself, not loving yourself, comes with settling. But, wait, some people settle and are aware of the choice they are making so I don't mean any disrespect to those of you out there. I was a bit harsh, so, I do apologize. Who knows, maybe I will hit a breaking point and end up settling as well.....

I do want to find the love of my life. Cheesy, I know.
I want to live passionately and grow together and individually with another person.
I want love in my life every day.

I don't want to be that girl that no man can be serious with. I know this is kind of silly and odd. But just because I'm silly and sensitive and am all over the place, doesn't mean you shouldn't man up. I'm not sure if this is making any sense. I'm just tired of falling for boys. I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on toddlers. I'm tired of not finding a real fuckin' man who can fuckin' own up and hold his own. You know what.... this should be changed to...

I don't want to be with a fucking boy. I don't think this needs explanation. Because you know what, it ain't my problem, it's theirs. The only problem I have is fuckin' falling for these boys!

you know what else I don't want?

I don't want to be that girl that leads you to your wife. I don't want that. I don't want to be that one that shows you the way, teaches you about life, shows you love and compassion and all the things you thought you could never have... (believe me, I really don't think THAT highly of myself... I know I'm coming off as conceited and self absorbed.... ugh I'm turning into one of those girls... save me!) BUT IT'S TRUE!!!! I feel like most of the relationships I've been in, they tell me I'm special and this and that and ::doing the jerking off gesture:: blah blah blah.... then we part ways and they find their wives! OK!!! OKAY!!! OKAY!!!! I know I'm completely exaggerating, this only happened with one ex of mine..... BUT STILL!!!! WHAT'S TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN!!!??

(breathing in and out) X (infinity) = solace.....?

GAH!

I do want ........ wait for it.....


wait for it....

(let's see if you can guess....)

you ready??


I want a fucking man.

<3


Note: I am aware that I started this post cool calm and collective.... and then I slowly... or actually, rather quickly turned into psycho single woman hulk. I may have become that "I need a boyfriend" girl, and guess what I will not apologize for it. Have a wonderful week!