Chivalry

This topic has sort of presented itself to me three times this week, so I figured I might as well write about it....right?

A new term started for me in school and I'm forced to take this pointless Etiquette class.... yes, I have to learn etiquette.... I mean, maybe 75% of the kids in my class definitely NEED this class, but me?? nah, I think I've got it down, I was one of the 25% that didn't interrupt my teacher :) hahaha..

Anyways!! The topic of Chivalry was talked about in this class. Chivalry. What is it? Does it still exist? Is it dead? Why is it dead? 

Chivalry |ˈ sh ivəlrē|
noun
the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
• historical knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively : I fought against the cream of French chivalry.
• the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp. courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
• courteous behavior, esp. that of a man toward women : their relations with women were models of chivalry and restraint 
(taken from the mac dictionary)

See that highlighted portion, this is what I'm talking about.  So we talked about this in class, what it means to be chivalrous and if men still do chivalrous things and what not. Do men still hold doors for women? Do men still walk on the street side of the sidewalk? Do men stand up at a dinner table when a woman leaves to go to the ladies room?

Some dudes in my class said they did some of these things, well... most said they hold doors, and one or two said they stood up at a table. So, chivalry is definitely dying. Why is that?

We have become a more lax society perhaps? We aren't as courteous as we used to be. Society as a whole has definitely dumbed down etiquette wise. We did talk a bit about woman's lib. and how that has impacted this chivalry thing. While woman's lib is awesome, there are the extremes that helped in the dying of chivalry. We women don't need men to do certain things for us, we are just as strong and just as independent. See in the definition of chivalry  "a readiness to help the weak" nope nope nope, we are not weak! We don't need you!!!!! We take offense to these actions of chivalry!!!

Here's my take on this whole chivalry thing. I think its silly, and sweet. I consider myself to be a strong independent woman, and part of me cringes when women fall weak to men and have them do silly things. Yes, there are certain things that men do better than women and vice versa, but it doesn't mean neither of us could at least TRY. So, while chivalry is silly, it's also super sweet. Holding doors for me is nice, I always get all silly about it because in my head I think to myself "woa, I'm being treated like... like... like a LADY!!" The standing up for me when I go to the bathroom would be too too much for me!! The sidewalk thing? ha! My ex used to adamantly refuse that I walk on the street side of the sidewalk. I would always laugh at him and try and weasel my way around him to the street side, because to me, it was silly. Now that I think back on it, I was probably fucking up his sense of manhood, taking pride in protecting his girl.

So, there is one side of how I feel about chivalry, and this next side could possibly be just a personal problem.... it probably is. Because in today's society things are so lax, and men don't try as hard with the chivalrous things to show the woman how they feel, that when it DOES happen, I right away think its ingenuous. It isn't genuine. I think, this dude is just doing this to get in my pants, because really, ultimately he is. Is he doing it just to do it, is he doing it for me? Or is this just his idea of being able to sweet talk a girl and coerce her into his bed? I probably just have trust issues... haha.

Another way this chivalrous thing presented itself is when I was talking with someone about love and expectations and wants of the significant other, chivalry wasn't really mentioned but I think this goes along with it. Wanting a man to jump through hoops, walk through fire, catch a grenade for you, all acts of chivalry. This want this need for a man to just fucking do it, fucking go all in 100% and fight to be with you. Does that exist? Now that I think of it too, are these ideas in our minds because of the media? Did they ever exist? We sit around and watch these chick flicks and we are being conditioned to think that if a man doesn't do these things then it's not REAL, he doesn't really want to be with you. Are these tests, ideals, and ideas we should live by?

While I tend to fall for those ideas, I try to stay grounded and realistic and say that it's all bullshit and all these ideas are just fucking ideas and that love will present itself in any way, shape, or form.  My man shouldn't have to jump through hoops or walk through fire or catch a grenade for me.

Then the song came on while I was in my car (the idea of chivalry presented itself again), and my grounded thoughts flew out the window. I guess it always seems that I'm the one who'd catch a grenade for them.... I guess what I'm waiting for is for the roles to be reversed.








Happy Valentines Day

<3