Superwoman!!!!!!!!.....possibly...

Okay, so the post-Vday, wallow in self pity, depressed hump is over.... I think..... ::looks around::.....

Sigh...

So this week went by super fuckin' fast... probably because I really didn't have anything to look forward to, hahaha (okay self-pity part is definitely NOT over hahahaha). Throughout the week I noticed myself go through the mourning steps (mentioned in this post) but I would go through all the steps in one day, be rockin the next, then go back to going through all the steps the next day. It's quite annoying, and pretty fuckin' lame too considering I only "dated" this dude for 2 months.... and considering this is probably only one sided ( <--- me being bitter :)) (omg, I'm a fuckin mess...hahaha)

Today, Sunday, is the one day I have off to myself. I woke up early with the sun shining in my room, really nice and beautiful! This week I had been looking forward to going to the Italian Market (5 min walk from my apt!! eeee!!!) today. So, I wake up, I want to go then I get sucked into a 5 min pity party.

Here's my deal people. I'm a romantic, I'm a lame ass romantic. While I like being a strong, independent woman (or so I'd like to think), I'm a fuckin' romantic dreamer that falls weak to men and ideas and dreams I have about being with one.  I was super excited about going to the Italian Market, then the 5 min self pity party came about because of course I went on thinking how wonderful it'd be if I had my man, my non-existent man, go with me! Walking on this lovely  Sunday morning, enjoying the sites, sounds and smells the Italian Market has to offer, coming home, unpacking all the groceries and setting up a lovely Sunday Brunch. Doesn't that sound so lovely and dreamy?

Then I tried to pep talk myself into being a Superwoman!! hahaha or something to that effect. In my head I went on to calming myself down and talking frankly to myself, it went something like this:

"Listen girl, you have got to come to terms with the fact that you're single, and you could very well possibly be single for the rest of your life. You need to learn how to be okay with doing these things on your own. If you can't have a romantic, lovely Sunday morning with a non-existent man, have one with yourself! You can't stay cooped up in your apartment all the time. While you find comfort in being alone in your home, you have to learn to find comfort in going out and enjoying what the world has to offer, alone."

I think you get the gist of it all. While it took me like 10 min of pep talking and finding motivation to go, I finally did. It was nice, and I tried to be as positive as possible. I bought some yummy fruits, veggies, cheese and pots! I came home and prepared a nice little brunch for myself, tomatoes, dry ricotta cheese, and roasted peppers (I stupidly forgot to buy basil). It was a lovely looking brunch and I kept on trying to remind myself to enjoy it and love it and enjoy myself. It was nice, it was relaxing, but I didn't get that sense of self-fulfillment, the sense of empowerment... the sense of Super-single-Woman!! I guess it takes time to get there? Who knows.

Hopefully, this years new goal of mine will be fulfilled. What is it you ask? Find the sense of self-fulfillment and self-empowerment and be a Super-single-Woman!!!! Now that I have Sundays 100% completely to myself (for now??), I'm going to try and remember to go and do one thing by myself so I can slowly learn to be okay being alone. Wow, I have this sudden urge to go get myself a cat next week.... single, crazy, cat lady...here  I (be)come!


<3