change

i was talking to a friend tonight about boys
and she seems to be kinda stuck in a rut, similar to my Mr. High School rut, and i basically gave her the same advice that was given to me. I mightve elaborated a bit more and gave a bit more advice, but the heart of it was the advice that ive been given many many times. You just really can't change a person. No matter how hopeful u are and how much u think ur love will be strong enough to change the person you just cant. so it leaves you with 3 options:

1. realize u can't change the person and move on
2. if his/her negatives outweigh his/her positives, but not even that, really if u can deal with his/her negatives. No one is perfect, we all have our faults, so, can you accept him/her for his/her faults and...
3. What is your self worth. Now, with number 2 yeah u can learn to accept a person for who they are, it in a way is better than just throwing them to the curb, but the balance to all of this is if you feel like you have some sense of worth. Are you giving too much of urself in hopes this person will change, or are u giving too much of your self to balance out the acceptance of your partners faults? In the end things can work out but it really comes down to if you are ultimately happy in your situation. Are you being given the kind of love you need?

Not to always bring up Mr. High School but its the most recent thing I can talk about (and there's more to the story I havent written about.)  Ultimately those 3 reasons are why I ended it. I realized that Mr. High School was the way he was and there was no way that I could change/fix him (for some reason I'm one of those gals that's all about helping and taking care of the wounded boys....). Then I decided to be patient with him and decided that I accept him for who he is and really truly did, it took me breaking up with him to realize that but I did really accept him for who he was and I wanted to try it again and not have expectations of him and be more patient with him.  Then I begged for him back... I didn't hear from him for a week then I get a text from him last sunday night and he just wanted to see what was up, no mention of any of the conversation we had the week prior. That was when I realized that I was worth more. That was when I realized that I wasn't happy because my thoughts and emotions weren't being recognized at all. So, a few days later I asked him not to text me for a while because it just hurt me.

Im sorry to have turned my friends dilema into an explanation of my relationship with Mr. High School, but I hope I was able to help her.

Really, as much as we wish it to be possible, people NEVER change. I mean, they do change, people can change, but if they choose to change for themselves... so let me rephrase it. YOU can never change a person. You are not that powerful, and no matter how hard you love a person and no matter how much you think your love for that person is enough to change them.. it just isn't. It's all up to the individual, whether it be your lover, your friend, or your family.


So, with that being said, look deep within and find your self worth and find what makes you happy and what kind of love you need and if it's being fulfilled. In the end, you only have you, right? Let's make sure that you're happy.

<3

p.s. i didnt feel like being grammatically correct or whatever... it's late and i'm tired.

p.p.s yes, i survived the earthquake and hurricane! woot!