Digital Love

I think by now it's quite apparent that times have changed and we have become more dependent on science and technology...especially in connecting with people.

I grew up with computers... in fact, I grew up at the beginning of computer domination (that is, computers dominating humans :) ). Remember when prodigy existed? Remember when screens were Black, Green and Yellow? I remember when I was in middle school and I had an AOL account, I remember waiting for literally maybe like 10-30 mins to sign into AOL... dial up... remember that? Watching that little AOL man run...

Connecting with people was amazing to me!!! Back in the day chat rooms were the bees knees! I would chat it up with all sorts of people all around the U.S. ....... and online romances? ha!

I had like a bajillion online boyfriends and crushes!

Fast forward to now.

We have facebook, we had myspace (we still have it but it fuckin sucks), friendster... and all the online dating sites!!! eHarmony, okcupid, jdate, plentyoffish, match.com etc. etc. etc.

These sites aren't created just because... they're created because we clearly need them and want them and there's obviously a high demand for them. In today's world we work so much... so hard, we don't have time to socialize... I mean we do.... and even though we work hard, we're fuckin lazy asses because we'd prefer to know how our friends are doing by reading status updates, we prefer to find our future husbands and wives online because it's less intimidating... it's easier to get rejected online than in person... AND! It's easier to reject someone online than in person.

For my avid readers, you know how against these online dating sites I've been.... I've also been for them as well... I obviously can't seem to get away from them... 

What's the point I'm trying to make? Well... this all leads to the combination of online dating and skyping.

Yep!!

I just recently realized that skyping with a person and dating them in real life puts a relationship on 2 separate levels! It really does!! It's so fucking interesting... someone should seriously do research on this! Two separate worlds working simultaneously.

Speaking from personal experience and from the experience of my friends here is what I have to say:

Your First Date

So, lets say you meet someone online.. on one of the dating sites mentioned above... I recently met someone on one of these sites and I skyped with them before actually meeting them.... When I mentioned it to a friend of mine he asked me "so, did you put make up on, did you look nice?" or something to the effect of that and i was like "shit? no!? was I supposed to!?!?" and he said "well, it is sort of like your first date."

BAM! It struck me! That?!!? That was my first date!? NO!!! No no no no no, it was not!!! In a sense though, if you really do think about it... it kind of was. If we weren't interested in each other after that first skype call, we probably wouldn't of gone on an ACTUAL first date.  So, right there begins the 2 separate dimensions in dating one individual in person and online.


Intimacy

Yep! Intimacy ALSO goes on different paths in 2 separate dimensions within this one relationship. When you just start dating someone, back in the day you went on your first...second...third date and like waited a day or 2 to call the person... now you can "chat" with them whenever you'd like! You get to know the person, faster which is good... but on skype it's also a whole other story.  That can get super intimate super fast! I mean, shit! You get to see a persons bedroom, a persons bed before your second date! There's nothing wrong by it at all... it's just so interesting that you can see certain things on skype before even really getting physically intimate... and by physically intimate I mean like holding hands or kissing or hugging... nothing sexual.

So here you are on one level "chatting" with this person everyday sorta being intimate and having "dates" while on the other level you're still trying to gauge who they are in person, still trying to be comfortable with them physically... its just interesting... doesn't that do something? Doesn't that somehow change the dynamic of a relationship... of how relationships are created??

I am, by no means, against any of this... I take part in it! I skype in bed in my pjs while dude is on the other end topless (owwww!!!) in his bed... that's pretty intimate. I just wonder if these 2 dimensions will have an effect on how we approach relationships now and into the future.... 50yrs ago boys were wooing girls with flowers and simple shit.... and now... we woo each other with one-liners on our dating profiles and putting make-up on for skype dates..... it's just interesting and strange how times have changed..

I don't think this will/dose have a negative effect, it lets us meet people in larger radiis and cuts out a lot of bs we normally go through.


But... like I always whine about...about wanting to meet my future husband in person rather than on-line.... we sorta miss genuity,  happenstance,  fate and destiny all of that.... we are missing out on.... but, since times have changed,  destiny is recreated and so I guess this is our new kind of destiny.

It's just so crazy! Sometimes I wish I lived in the 50's or 60's.... I guess I'm just stuck... I have no problem with how dating is going on now a days.... but I also love that romantic idea of how things used to be... how dating was for our parents....


What are your thoughts? Do you think this will turn for the worse? More and more people are meeting their significant others on-line, so it is a good thing...

<3