ADLD

Before I get into the meat of this post, I'd just like to say how much I LOVE Sunday mornings! I wake up, semi-early, put on my robe and slippers, heat up some water and sit at my kitchen table with my coffee and lap top.  So here I am, sitting at my messy kitchen table with my sink full of dirty dishes behind me, completely content with my coffee and the warmth my home has to offer :) Definitely taking a step in the right direction towards loving this whole thing... this whole apple orchard way of life... skipping my way down a beaten and bare path to my gold rush trees.... anyways!


ADLD!!!?!?!?!

What is this new epidemic, this new neuropsychiatric condition!! Okay, I know I shouldn't make fun of serious things, but to me, this is serious!

Attention Deficit Love Disorder

I was studying the other day for a midterm and I could not, for the life of me, focus! Then, while I was driving to class that night, it hit me! I have ADLD! When I fall for boys, when I begin relationships my head is all over the place, it's rewired, I cannot focus... or I actually focus too much! It's almost like I focus way too much that my thoughts are a mess that causes me to not think clearly! Does that make sense!? I can't just pay attention to the now and what is happening right now in relationships because I am too busy thinking about tomorrow and next year.. will this last, will it not, does he like me as much as I like him, I don't want to do anything that'll freak him out...blah blah blah.

It might not be linked entirely to ADD, but that's the first thing that popped up in my head. I seriously feel like I become a different person when I'm with a boy I really like. Something in me shuts down and I'm like "WAHHH!!!!!!".... with a nice calm smile on my face.

I know people can't think clearly when they like someone because they're all infatuated and "ahh he/she is so dreamy," you wander off. But I seriously sometimes think something is wrong with me! haha I don't remember ever being like this until recently. Wait... nevermind... I can.

So, what's the cure? Is there a form of Ritalin for this type of disorder? There isn't, unfortunately. So, my ADLD friends, where do we go from here? (I understand I just put you all in the same bag as me, I know not all of you have ADLD, it's just so lonely in this psycho-loveless life!!!!! sigh... :) ) I can either give the cheesy expected advice and say "well, the only cure to this is self actualization and believing in yourself," or I could tell you to find some kinda drug that's like a truth serum or something that will leave you careless but who wants that kind of numbness? Fine, cheesy advice wins because I can't really think of anything else!!!

I gotta believe in myself more. It's something I realize I struggle with like crazy! This is, truly, I think, my only cure to ADLD. If I focus more on me and build a strong trusting relationship with myself I won't have to worry about tomorrow, the future, whether he really likes me or not, and I'll  hope that I'll freak him out and that he accepts me with open arms!

Ya know, I really like the whole metaphor of the dating world being like an over-picked apple orchard (read last weeks post). I'm going to keep that in mind. So far I think it's the best way that will help me visualize and feel comfortable with this journey I'm on. There's another thing for you to think about, maybe come up with a relateable life event or activity or something that can help you deal with whatever qualms you may be struggling with, if you are struggling with any at all.  I really believe that there are Gold Rush apple trees just waiting for me to pick. Great way to tie in last weeks post!!! ::pat on back::

Maybe my apple orchard is my ritalin.

<3