Space Oddity

Staring off into space...



Ground Control to Major Future Husband.....



Where are you?



Floating off somewhere... somewhere far far off into the outter limits of space on a special planet called Future Husband. As a collective group I think that all of us single, sadly desperate (maybe it's just me), women need to contact NASA, find a rich rich rich donor to pay for our flights off into space, and land on planet Future Husband. Once we land it'll be like arriving at the airport, our future husbands will be standing there, waiting for us, with HUGE smiles on their faces holding a sign with our names so beautifully written in hot pink calligraphy on a lush black velvet background with feathers and flowers bordering our names. Of course unicorns and leperachauns will be standing by their sides.



OY!



Y'know working at my job provides me the visual and mental delight of imagining all of the super cute boys/men customers I help, as my potential future husbands. For example, there is this one customer that comes in to get change orders for his place of work. He is short and stocky has a cute lil mini gelled mohawk and piercings, and when he walks in wearing those Dickies I just melt. He is just soo soo cute! My coworker thinks he's into me, I would like to think that as well but I don't want to get ahead of myself.



Another customer is tall, dark, and has long dreads... mmm mmm mmm. He works for a dance studio, mabye he can teach me a few moves... wink wink... if ya know what I mean... nudge nudge. In all seriousness though I'd probably just topple over myself and he'd stand there, point and laugh. No, no, no! No future husband of mine would EVER be that shallow! So, he'd probably lower his head in shame, walk away and right then and there would begin the divorcing process with my future ex-husband, the dancer. Sad face.



Really though, I feel like Mr. Dancer is out of my league. I know, I should be more confident, but he is just too beautiful for me. I think that there could be some potential with Mr. Dickies. One thing I do have to mention that turns me off a little about Mr. Dickies is that he sometimes closes his eyes when he talks. I know, something so minute and silly could actually be a deterrant to being with my potential future husband...wtf! I'm going to go ahead and look past that and be the big person here. hehe



In any case, I was thinking of grabbing my balls and asking Mr. Dickies out. I think that would be a great challenge for myself as well as all the lovely single ladies out there! Seriously! Let's grab our balls and do this! I'm such a pussy though! How the hell can I ask a dude out? AND! Am I allowed to ask someone out while I'm at work? Well, shit, I'm writing this while I'm at work so fuck it! Maybe I'll try and get some of my gals to go to his place of work and try and "work it" if ya know what I mean. ;)



Seriously though let's do this challenge. I'm making this public and all of you are holding me accountable to this! I'm going to give myself a month to ask a boy out. It may seem too long but this is some serious business, this is my future on the line. I have to make sure I plan this out as to not make a fool out of myself, and not loose another chance with a potential future husband! Who's with me!?

Oy, I really don't know what I'm talking about.... forgive me for this post, I promise next weeks post will be better!!!!!!

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND ALREADY!!!! Is that too much to ask of you, universe? It's just one simple, painless request! Just send down those men from Planet Future Husband and I'll be fine, I swear! This is a desperate cry for help!

Ground Control to Major Future Husband your circuits dead, there's something wrong....

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?

Can you hear me Major Future Husband?



<3