Leftovers

I'm not sure how long or short this post is going to be... I have a feeling it's going to be a short one.... unless I start to ramble on :)

So, I don't know what exactly got me thinking about this and wondering about this but...here it goes!

Break-ups.. blah blah blah I've written about them before, you've dealt with them before we all get the gist of that ish! We get left with heartache and pain and sadness and all that negative shit.. then slowly we start to see the light and birds and rainbows and la de da.... but then.. something that has happened to me, not sure if it has with any of you.... you start to notice some parts of them (the exes) that were left behind...

I'm not talking about t-shirts or boxers or any of that material crap...I'm talking about physical things!

Okay!!! I know you're probably confused as fuck and saying to yourselves "what the fuck is single sally talking about!?!?!" (hahaha) I know, I may be slightly insane....

Let me give you an example....

So, I never had dry skin when I was younger, my face was nice and smooth and ... nice...
My first serious bf (the one of 3 yrs) had good skin too... but! His nose was always dry and a lil flaky... (nothing gross or insane)... We broke up, la de da... la de da... and then!! get this!!! I started to notice that my nose was dry and flaky!!!!!!! Nothing intense but I began to notice it!!!! And I was like... could it be?!

I know that when you're with someone for a long time ya'll start to look the same or whatever that bullshit is... but flaky noses!!?!? no!

So, a flaky nose is a sort of leftover, if you will, from the first boy.... and lately, for some god awful reason, a reason I don't know why?!?!!?! I had been wondering what, if anything, kind of leftover the most recent ex might've or could've left behind... I was definitely hoping for NOTHING!!!!!!

I don't see anything... don't feel anything... so.. I am in the clear!


or...so...I...thought....

I'm going to quickly and lightly mention that I was on a date with a boy today (second date :)) and we were sitting in the planetarium... and he took my hand and we held hands.... maybe it's because it was warm in there... maybe it's cuz I WAS SUPER FUCKING NERVOUS (which it probably is)...but my hand started to get all clammy and sweaty... maybe it was cuz both of us were excited and nervous.. I DON'T KNOW!!

and then it hits me.... this, is my leftover from the recent ex.



FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!



I don't want gross clammy hand syndrome!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! Demon, get out of me!!!!!!!

I need to have an exorcism performed on me because fuck that! I don't want that shit!!!

okay! I know! I'm being a fuckin drama queen over here but a girl with clammy hands aint sexy!!!


And! I know i know i know it was probably because we were both excited and nervous... but still!!! WHY MUST I BE CURSED!!!!!

haha so...

What's your leftover?

<3

Mr. 2b

Alright! So, in last weeks first post, I lightly mentioned something I didn't want to jinx....well... I'm still not going to give you full details on what that is... but!!! I will reveal something to you lovely readers!!! Are you ready for this!?!?!

Ready for Miss Hypocrite 2010??

Waaahhh!!!

Here goes!!!

I... yours truly... miss single sally... miss single sally who wants to find true love in real life... has..... reactivated her okcupid account..... cringe!!!!!......

okay okay okay!!!

Lay it on me!! I can take it!!! I know I know I know!

I made a vow to myself and to you lovely readers that on-line dating wasn't for me! I tried it and I hated it! Maybe I didn't give it a solid, serious try? Maybe I put too much pressure on it! Anyways! I'm back on it and ready to take whatever it throws my way... well... not whatever it throws my way...

Let me digress a bit....

Back in the day, when I signed up on okcupid and I was actively using it, I started to think that, while I work at a bank... a public place.... in center city, I'm bound to run into a few people I see on okcupid!

There was this one dude that came into the bank once and I swear I saw him under my "Visitors" section of my okcupid profile... but neither of us said anything... which is a good thing.... it'd be weird and awkward....

This time, reactivating my account, I didn't think anything of it! The thought didn't even cross my mind! Well!!! Let me tell you something amazingly hilarious that happened to me on there the other day!

It was a late Wednesday evening, I had just gotten in from class and I slid under my covers, propped my laptop on my lap and proceeded to check my email and what not. I decided to casually check okcupid. So, I log in... check my inbox and BAM! I got an IM!

Dude: Hey
Dude: Do you recognize me?
Dude: You work at the bank, right?
Me: What?! Who is this? Hold on, let me check out your pics.... (mind you, his default pic was of him...shoulders down.... holding a surfboard... wtf?! That must say something?!!?! anyways...)

I click on his profile, then quickly click on his pics... and... well... here's the thing...there are 4 types of people/customers I remember/recognize at the bank:

1. Cute people
2. Annoying people
3. Mean people
4. Nice people

Well!! Wouldn't you know! He fell right into category #2!! Wait for it... it doesn't stop there!! I feel that category #2 has a few subcategories....

2a. Annoying chicks that think their good looks will make up for their stupidity
2b. Annoying dude customers that talk too much and think they're bad to the bone and try to put moves on you... they also tent to look mousey.... just their appearance annoys the fuck out of you.
2c. Customers who can't fill out a simple deposit or withdraw slip... all you have to do is read... READ!!!

The list goes on but those 3 are the top.

I'm sure you guessed that he falls in to category 2b of customers I remember at the bank.... if you did, then you're right! Go buy a lottery tickey, you're probably feeling pretty luck today!! haha Seriously though, that's the dude that IM'd me!!!

So, I reply with...

Me: oh, yeah, hey
Dude: How are you?
Me: good, you?
Dude: Good, So, how long have you been on here?

(meanwhile I had a message in my inbox and I was replying to it, and I was so flustered and annoyed by category 2 subcategory B dude that I accidentally sent the mail mid sentence and had to send an apology email lookin like an ass!!!!)

Me: Eh... I've been on and off... hey, I gotta go, cya around!


SIGN OUT!!!


WTF!?!?! WHY ME?!?!!?

How insane was that!?! It just had to be subcategory 2b dude! Why couldn't it be a dude from category #1!!!!!!??? Sigh!! Just my luck!! Hahaha! It's a pretty funny story though!

I definitely don't look forward to the day he walks into the bank! Because you know that a dude from subcategory 2b would be the type that walks in all rico-suave like and bring it up!!! Get the fuck outta my face!!!!!!!


HOT DAMN!!

He will be referred to as Mr.2b from now on... so if he walks in and starts 2bing around... you bet your bottom dollar I'm blogging about it!!!!

<3

I'd like to thank...

Wahh! I never thought I'd ever get a blog award!

But! My dearest blogger friend Rach at How Fickle Is Woman awarded me with the Stylish Blogger award. How exciting!!

Here are the rules to accepting this award!
1. Thank the person who sent the award to you.... CHECK!
2. Share 7 things about yourself.... will do that in a sec!
3. Pass the award on to bloggers who you think are awesome!....thinking....
4. Contact the bloggers you picked and let them know about the award!....will do at the end of post :)

Alright!!!

Seven things about myself?! Shit... what to share? what to share?

One: Here's something silly.... When I was younger I thought that if I forgot to flush the toilet after I peed, whoever came in the bathroom next and saw my pee would know what my vagina looked like.... true story!

Two: I don't think I've ever mentioned this in this blog, but I am a crafter! I love love love creating art and crafting! I love collecting ribbons and scraps of paper. I love making greeting cards, and I love some good ol' art therapy... here are a few pics of things I made....

I  made this after the break up from my first love.

I took a drawing class and fell in love with line drawing!

Fused plastic greeting card!

See that blue body mold.. top right? yeah.. thats a mold of my body I made. I actually made it after this boy I dated for 3 months told me he was breaking up with my because I wasn't tall or skinny... dick!.. so I molded my body.. it was a wonderful loving my body experience!

Three: I fall in love way too easily. I do... it's completely ridiculous! When I first meet a boy I like, I right away see if his last name works well with my first name... I know a bunch of gals do that.. but I feel like when  I do it.. it's like way sick! (sick as in horrible.. not sick as in cool)

Four: I am currently in school pursuing my dream! I am in culinary school for Pastry Arts!! It's something that I've wanted to do for 10 years now! I'm enjoying it greatly!!!

Five: When I cook/bake alone, I pretend I'm doing a cooking show.... in Australia... yup! I talk with the accent and everything.... I think I semi got it down. I catch myself speaking quite intensely like the crocodile hunter did...rip.

Six:  I have 3 tattoos.... my first one I got when I was 16? or 17? With my fake ID! haha! It's a bumble bee, the second one I got maybe 7 months ago? My bestie and I got tattoos together... When we first started hanging out in High School, we called ourselves the Rude Chicks! so... 10 yrs later we decided to get tats.. I got rude on the back of my right arm just above the elbow and she got chicks on the back of her left arm.. so when we stand together it reads rude chicks... here's a pic!

My third tattoo I got 3 months ago, I got it on my inner left arm and it's a bob dylan lyric "It's life, and life only" from the song "It's alright ma, I'm only bleeding" it's a beautiful song!

Seven: Lucky number seven!!! I want to make this one super juicy!!! But my life is pretty boring! I'm a really laid back kinda gal. I crack jokes, laugh at myself, curse like a sailor and love getting down and dirty. I love singing in my car thinking I'm a great harmonizer. I love road trips.  Janis Joplin is my idol. I love board games. I love love. I hate love. I love you and you and you and you! The End!


Now!! To pass the award onto other lovely bloggers!!! Well! I think I have about 3 bloggers to share!!

1. The lovely L xxx at Ramblings of a Singleton
2.  Mr. Jonathan at The Titan Project
3. The lovely Triathletegal at Serial Datist who actually inspired me to start this blog


There ya have it!! My participation in this lovely awesome blog award!!!!


Congrats to those who have been awarded!!! Keep it rollin!!


<3

....fail....

I have failed you readers.... I do apologize!

I swear, last night just before going to bed, I swear I had a good idea for a blog post.... then I woke up and completely forgot it..... and then throughout the day I've been trying to remember what it was!!! Then I really wasn't sure if maybe I dreamed that I had an idea for a blog post... because for some reason last nights dream sequence meshed with real life and left me feeling a bit unsure of what was real and what wasn't. So, it's hard to say really if I actually consciously thought of the idea for the blog post or just subconsciously thought it.

In any case... there's is a bit of somethin somethin goin on right now in my life, but I don't want to talk about it just yet.... I'm worried I may jinx it! So, those of you who know me... personally... please, don't ask me to tell you if I haven't already.

Maybe the power of the secret is working? In two ways.... maybe it's just me being a goofball!

Anyways, here's a cute little love image I stumbled upon!! I got it from this article The Food of Love.

Alright then!

This post was short and sweet!
Have a great week ya'll!! And!! Happy Happy Hannukah!!!!

<3

Lists

So, today I opened up my moleskin weekly planner thing. It's kinda fat, stuffed with papers and what not.... some of the papers are little things I kept as memorabilia, for example little things from my trip to New Orleans over the summer and a few pieces of trash like receipts here and there.

I have about 12 little squares of paper that were about to fall out.... along with a list...

What do these special pieces of paper entail?

Qualities and characteristics of what I want in a relationship and in a significant other.

How many of us created lists like these? go ahead, you can raise your hand... mine is raised pretty high!

So, I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I see a therapist...she gave me 2 assignments, one was to write a list of things I want in a man and the other was to write, on little cards, things I want in a relationship.

That wasn't the first time I created a list like that. A little under a year ago, after the breakup with my most recent ex, I decided it'd be a good idea to write that list. In the back of my mind I was hoping that the power of The Secret would work it's magic.... alas it did not.

Anyways I thought I'd share with you this list and the lovely things I want in a relationship... they sort of coincide, so I hope it won't be redundant.

Things I want in man:

- Honest
- Grounded
- Compromising
- Caring
- Secure
- NO BAGGAGE!
- Compassionate
- Understanding
- Sensitive but strong
- Creative
- Funny
- Giving
- Mature
- Supportive
- Responsible
- Cultured
- Respectful
- Likes to travel
- Reliable
- Mentally sound/strong

(Who doesn't have baggage though!?!?!?!!?! shit!)

So, that's my list.... I really don't have much to say about it... is it realistic? Am I being realistic? Does a man like this exist? Sigh... you know, this list kind of depresses me.....next!

Next, next next!!

Things I want in a Relationship:
(I may go into detail with these, yup, I will)

- Honesty- Trust- With each other and about the relationship, take responsibility in the relationship and with each other
- Compromise - within every aspect- give and take and confidence in decisions - 50/50
- Love <3= Happiness
- Positivity + + + = Growth, compromise, and understanding
- Understanding - sensitive towards each others thoughts, feelings, beliefs
- Reliability - responsibility, ownership = honesty
- Give & Take - 50/50 - like compromising - emotionally, caring and taking care of
- Confidence - in each other and the relationship - no doubt, no excuses
- Life, Creativity, Passion, Excitement! = movement
- Travel - see new places, experience new things together
- Cultured - open to new/old ideas, new/old foods, customs, cultures
- Equality- 50/50 give and take - also in roles within the relationship/household, non- traditional
- Strength - in being sensitive- strength in being honest and true with ourselves and each other
- Individuality - we are not carbon copies - have different things to bring into the relationship- spending time together and individually
- On the same team- back each other up, don't shoot each other down
- Real - security- same future plans- comes from same ideals/ideas- realness in thoughts feelings with each other and relationship
- Spiritual - as opposed to religious- religion can be there- in the background- but to be spiritual in believing in each other in the universe/earth.

Does any of this actually make any sense? Am I limiting myself with these lists... these are just lists though... these are things I'd like, but hmm, I don't know why I'm having trouble discussing these. And! Are they biased because I wrote them thinking of the things I didn't have in my previous relationships? I mean, one good thing about having more than just one relationship under my belt is that I get closer to knowing what I want and what I don't want.

But these things I listed above, not all of them you learn in the first few dates...so, it's kind of too ideal. It's unrealistic. But like I mentioned already, I don't want these to limit me from anything...??... will they? do they?

It's funny, I recently came in contact with an old acquaintance of mine in CA... she was saying how it was a shame that we live so far away from each other because she can't play matchmaker for me anymore... here I was thinking that it was only recently that I've been on a hunt for my future husband, but I guess I've always been on a hunt... ever since the break up from my first serious relationship... man, I must be some kind of hot mess.

Anyways, do lists serve a good purpose in this case?

I guess that's that for this post!

Until next week! Have a good one!

<3

For real Single Sally

Fo' real yo!

Here's what I was thinking today...

You know, I've been single before... no biggie... but I haven't been this kind of single. And! By this kind of single, I mean this... :)

So, I've had 2 major relationships in my life.... my first one which lasted 3 years and then my most recent one which was about a year and a half give or take a few months here and there :)

From the time things ended with my first to the time things started with my second was about 3.. maybe 3.5 years. During those 3.5 years I was a single lady..... but!!!

I was a single fresh-piece-of-meat-back-on-the-market kinda single lady!

So, what does a single fresh-piece-of-meat-back-on-the-market kinda single lady do? What does it mean? Here's the recipe!

Single fresh-piece-of-meat-back-on-the-market kinda single lady

3.5 lbs of crushes
4-5 cups of risque business
2 semi-but-not-really-relationships
10 heaping tblspns full of partying
As much super cute, sexy, fun, spicy spices as needed


This recipe really is a flexible one so it can be altered any which way...

THAT, my dear readers, was the kind of single fresh-piece-of-meat-back-on-the-market lady I was!

So, what's so different from the kind of single lady I am now??

I've gotten older, I've gotten more serious... I've gotten... dare I say... boring. sigh.

So this really is the first time when I really... really.... don't have a single male in my life... well, yes there are men in my life... male friends... but not the kind of male friends I want, if ya know what I mean. No offense to you male friends :) I love you all.

I really don't know what the point of this post is... but it just struck me that this is like an adult kind of single. An older kind of single. I ain't playin' around, I'm not having little flings or casual sex or any of the sort. I'm just doing my thing and once in a while hoping for prince charming to come along and sweep me off my feet.

While some of my past posts have been me complaining, whining, crying, depressing about being single and wanting to find/be with my future husband, this weeks post I am going to say and going to try and promise myself to continue being positive about being okay with being single.

I don't need a man, I don't need a man, I don't need a man, I don't need a man....


....


I just fuckin' want one :)

BUT! For the time being, I'm gonna be a rockin' single lady! I'm gonna do my thing, strut my own kinda stuff and when the time is right, it'll be right :)

Until next time ladies and gents!

For the Americans reading this, have a wonderful thanksgiving, lets remember what we're thankful of... and don't say nothin' bout being thankful for them black Friday sales! sheeeit! :)

<3

Break-ups

So, I am part of 20sb is a great networking place for 20 something bloggers (20sb) to get together, network, receive feedback and make friends :) It's pretty cool! On the main page there's this section with discussion topics going on. Last week a friendly blogger posted a discussion "How do women get over a break-up?" Interesting, hu? A dude posted this discussion.

He started it off like this:

I'm pretty sure men just have sex with anything and everything the minute they get broken up with. But I highly doubt it's the same for women. Unless it is, I don't know.

What do you think?

(this was written by The Titan Project)

There was a number of responses to this discussion... it's been going on for about a week.

98% of the responses were from women, of course. There was one response from another dude and a reply from the author of the discussion.

Anyways, most of the gals had the same responses....some of them were stereotypical responses that were to be expected.

- I cry my eyes out and eat ice cream
- I watch chick flicks
- I listen to empowering girl music
- I hang out with my girlfriends
- I too fuck anything and everything
- I make myself busy
- I delete the ex from any and every social networking site

I cringed at the stereotypical responses, the ones like eating ice cream, and watching chick flicks. OY! I know I'm guilty of doing similar things.

So, I knew I wanted to respond to this discussion but I wasn't sure how to. Then I thought long and hard about it and came to this conclusion. Here was my response:

well.. thinking about my most recent break up... it was kinda of like a mourning period... u know those 6 steps of mourning some1s death.. i feel like thats what went on with me...

1. The first month after the break-up he and I were both in denial about it... and trying to give each other hope for the future "we just need to grow individually and maybe next year it'll work" LAME!! I know!!!
2. depression period
3. The "I DON'T NEED YOU I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!!" period (which entails deleting boy from everything :) ) Having a bajillion crushes!
4. ANGER ANGER ANGER (incorporated with a bunch of internet stalking)
5. Well.. i have yet to get there.. but i've gone through this before so! step 5 is probably the coming back to reality and being okay with urself and being alone...slowly coming back and regaining some normalcy
6. WOOHOO!!!! NEW BOY IN LIFE!!!!!... and hoping and praying not to go through this all over again :)

Of course everyone goes through their own thing and deal with break-ups differently, but I think that if we all really look closely at our break-ups I truly believe that there is some sort of process that we go through, similar to the one I wrote above.

Now, with men.... sigh.... I really do hate how this guy started the discussion because I hate the fact that that's how most men deal with it. He basically put men and women in 2 different categories when really all men and all women don't react in those 2 separate ways. I've talked to dudes, some have said that men are more emotional and weaker than women, that it does take longer for them to get over a break-up than it does for women. But I've also seen men have the ability to jump from one relationship to the next...relationship hoping if you will :) Maybe men are just better at hiding their feelings, and its easier for them to sweep the emotional shit under the rug?

The one dude that came up with an actual response to this discussion wrote a semi-good response. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. He, too, sort of categorized men and women in their own stereotypical groups. I do sort of like how he wrote this excerpt, but I don't at the same time....

Best way to view a relationship is to compare it to a paycheck: if you feel like you are expending too much of your time & energy for the chump change you receive in return, then you will quit your job and find another. If you feel like you are earning as much as you deserve, then you'll stick around & see what happens. And if the money is just rolling in, then you are gonna make damn sure you do everything you can to keep your job--even if it means working overtime.

(This was written by Audience of One)

I mean he does make a good point about the idea of give and take and having an equal balance there... but at the same time I definitely do not like how it sort of made relationships sound sterile and not wholesome.

I guess that whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" idea makes sense.

In any case, I would love to have a better truer response from a male... because I refuse to believe that fucking anything and everything is the cure to a males side of a break-up.... I refuse!!! Maybe it's also because I'm in denial, because I honestly do believe that that's all men care about. I know, not all men are like that... I guess I just haven't met the right one yet ;)



What are your thoughts, dear readers?

<3